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Why Clearly, Accurately and Concisely?
How?

Example: 「同僚の結婚祝いとしてチーム全体でプレゼントするもので何が喜んでもらえるかについて、 何か助言をお願いします」というメールを上司に出すとします。

< Mail 1 >
I am writing an email to ask you your advice
about what will delight Alice as a present from our team to Alice for her wedding.

< Mail 2 >
I am emailing you to discuss what kind of a gift our team should give to Alice for her wedding
in order to please her.
Please give me your suggestion.

Improve Further

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