Lecture Notes on Communication by Emails (Part 3 of 3)
⇐
Previous Lecture Notes
 ⇑ Up
Next Lecture Notes ⇒

Summary
MENU

1. Guidelines and Tips on Technical Writing

Grammatical Issues

  1. Countable Nouns vs Uncountable Nouns

  2. "the number of ..." （「 ... の個数」） vs "a number of ..." （「多くの ... 」）

  3. Phrases on Numbers
    (Refer to Numbers in English and Number Notation for more information)

In singular vs plural nouns, what happens on a fraction?

To avoid confusion between singular and plural forms, use a unit (singular form enclused with brackets "[ ]") if the unit is applicable.
Then, no need to worry about singular vs plural.

Examples:
0.23 [bit] and 0.301 [kg]

Wording

  1. Choose an appropriate word or phrase from synonyms, depending on the context, through practice (e.g., reading example sentences).

    Example 1.1:
    「決まり事」

  2. The most common phrase may vary over time.

    Remark 1.1:
    There are multiple phrases used to request something to another person.
    Google Ngram Viewer is useful to compare phrases in terms of their occurrences in books as well as their trends over years.

Besides learning the English grammar and idioms, it is important to learn custom and cultural differences between Japan and English-speaking countries.
Note that about two thirds of 360 million people speaking English as their first language live in U.S.A.
  1. Format of Decimal Numbers with a Fraction in U.S.A., Europe and Other Countries
  2. Date Formats in U.S.A., Europe and Other Countries
  3. Legal or Ethical Issues

Review 1.1:
「製品Aがいつ入手可能かについてお教えください」というのを英語で表現する文を２つ以上書きなさい。 そして、どれを最も適切なものとして選ぶか決めて、その理由を述べなさい。

Do Not Use Kata Kana and Japanese English

  1. Pronunciation

    フォーム（書類、運動の動作） form
    フォルム（形状） form
    アプリ App or Apps
    プロフィール profile       [pronounce as "pro" "file", not "pro" "feel", and put the accent on "pro"]
    アンケート [フランス語に由来]     questionnaire

  2. Misleading Usage

  3. Name
    ワシントン            Washington, D.C.     ?     or     State of Washington     ?

Before using words and phrases, double check their usages by using Google Ngram Viewer.

Example:
◎ Information Age     vs     ✘ Internet Era (Not common, although it sounds OK in Japanese)

2. How to Organize a Message in Email
The following is quoted from a memo on brevity to the British War Cabinet from the Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill, dated on August 9th, 1940.
It presents very informative tips on writing messages that deliver the main theme to readers effectively,
although it was written way back from the information age that we communicate via Internet.
"To do our work, the memorandum says,
we all have to read a mass of papers.
Nearly all of them are too long.
This wastes time, while energy has to be spent in looking for the essential points.

I ask my colleagues and their staffs to see to it that their reports are shorter.

  1. The aim should be Reports which set out the main points in a series of short, crisp paragraphs.
  2. If a Report relies on detailed analysis of some complicated factors, or on statistics, these should be set out in an Appendix.
  3. Often the occasion is best met by submitting not a full-dress Report, but an Aide-memoire consisting of headings only,
    which can be expanded orally if needed.
  4. Let us have an end of such phrases as these:
    "It is also of importance to bear in mind the following considerations......", or
    "Consideration should be given to the possibility of carrying into effect.....".
    Most of these woolly phrases are mere padding, which can be left out altogether, or replaced by a single word.
    Let us not shrink from using short expressive phrase, even if it is conversational.

Reports drawn up on the lines I propose may at first seem rough as compared with the flat surface of officialese jargon.
But the saving in time will be great, while the discipline of setting out the real points concisely will prove an aid to clearer thinking."

The elements and principles described in Lecture Notes on Principles of Technical Communication should be applied to writing a message body of an email.

Important guidelines for writing a message are summarized below.
  1. Make It Concise (Not Too Lengthy)

  2. Make It Easy for a Reader to Capture a Main Theme Quicky

  3. Structure Paragraphs

  4. Be Consistent

The following guidelines should also be observed in the context of communication by email.
  1. One Theme per Email

  2. Theme to Be Matched with a Subject Line

  3. Change a Subject Line When a Theme Changes While Exchanging Emails Back and Forth

  4. Clarify the Context of a Message at Its Beginning

  5. Bottomline First

In addition, it is recommended to observe the following.
  1. Plain Text instead of HTML

  2. Use Indentations and Blank Lines for Visualizing an Organization of a Message Clearly

  3. Limit the Text Width so that a Recipient Is Comfortable to Read Even with a Mobile Phone

  4. Encrypt an Email If It Contains Confidential Information

Example 2.1:

Remark 2.1:
Last but not least,
review & revise an email at least several times before sending it.
Even a skillful technical writer commonly revise her/his manuscript several times.
Email communication is not required to be as promptly as SNS,
although it should be relatively responsive in comparison with traditional media of publication.
It is important to think twice and revise an email befoire sending it.

Review 2.1:
Assume that you did not do well in exams of the course CS 355.
Because you were afraid that you would fail to get a minimum required grade,
you have decided to request its instructor Dr. Julia Schmidt to give you an opportunity of earning extra credits such as submission of a report.
Write an email to Dr. Schmidt at jschmidt@bdl.edu.

3. Email Setup and Cybersecurity Countermeasures

Tips on Email Security

Example 3.1:
Strong Password
  1. First, compose a phrase or sentence that you can easily remember and others are unable to guess it.

    「瀬戸内海、五月晴れ」("Setonaikai, Satsukibare")
  2. Pick the first character of each syllable in the phrase or sentence.

    Stniki,Stkbr
  3. If the resultant password does not include a digit or a special symbol, then insert it or replace a character of the password with your own rules.

    Stniki,5tkbr

Review 3.1:
Double check settings of your email account and ensure the email settings to be secure.

Create a strong password newly.

For more general guidelines and tutorials on email security, refer to the following references.

4. Exercises
  1. In technical communication, numbers are very important and frequently referred to.
    Write in English the following Japanese sentence including numbers.
    1. タブレット端末9.7" iPad Proの消費電力はiPad mini4の約1.4倍である。
    2. このコンピュータが120 [W/h]を消費すると仮定した時、2 [kW]の電気回路に最大何台接続できますか？
    3. このLSIチップの不良品確率は数万個に２、３個ぐらいである。

  2. Write in English the following Japanese sentence including a date and an amount of maney.
    1. 2016年7月10日までに２万５千３百ドルを支払ってください。
    2. 内蔵ハードディスクドライブWD10JPLXの千六百個注文を確約するためには、 下記の銀行口座に総額$108,800の半額を10営業日以内に振り込む必要があります。
    3. 今月末までに製品 8GB PC3-12800 SO-DIMM を１万個以上注文していただけるならば、 ３割のボリュームディスカウントを提案させていただきます。

  3. By applying the above guidelines and tips, improve the following email body.

    Hi,
    This email is regarding the midterm exam that we took Thursday. I already notified a TA about this and he said to email you. I came down with a stomach virus on Wednesday that pretty much incapacitated me. So thinking that on Thursday that it would be better i came in to take the exam. It did not get better hence i turned in an incomplete midterm. Can I retake the exam? If you have any questions please let me know.

  4. By applying the above guidelines and tips, improve the following email body.

    Hello, my name is Mary Jones, I am an undergraduate student enrolled to the Mexico City University. They have been sponsoring me through my exchange program, and will be until it is over (end of August). The last part of that program is a research/internship, that can be unpaid, as I have a J-1 visa. I would like to know if you have any research that I could participate on. I can start at mid May, after my classes are over, and collaborate in the project through the summer.

    I am attaching my resume, academic transcript and a letter of recommendation.

    Mary Jones

  5. Guess what the following poorly written message intends to express
    and then rewrite it by applying the above guidelines and tips.

    In this book I have attempted an accurate but at the same time readable account of recent work on the subject of how gene controls operate, a large subject which is rapidly acquiring a central position in the biology of today and which will inevitably become even more prominent in the future, in the efforts of scientists of numerous different specialists to explain how a single organism can contain cells of many different kinds developed from a common origin.

  6. By applying the above guidelines and tips, revise the following email that is not too bad, but very lengthy.

    Dear Dr. Sugihara,

    I'm a Brazilian student sponsored by the Brazilian government. I'm part of the Brazilian Engineering Students Program, which is a national program. I am seeking a summer research opportunity in the University of Hawaii at Manoa, given my desire to work in algorithm research and my passion for this area. I believe that doing summer research with you will provide me with the valuable experience and skills needed to succeed in this field.

    My passion for algorithms started when I went to a college in San Paulo. I was a part of a competitive programming class in my first semester of classes. I received an award in a programming competition in 2012.

    I think that algorithms are the principle part of any good software.

    While attending courses on software engineering and competitive programming, I developed skills for communication, group work and logic. While studying at the college, I collaborated with and helped teach concepts of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) to children as a mentor in the Urban Scholars Program. We taught children math, physics and logical concepts using Minecraft as a platform over the course of six weekends. As my attached resume reflects, I am participating in an independent study with the head of the computer science department as my advisor in order to help contribute to a Free and Open Source Software humanitarian development project. Through this I have been able to improve my strong leadership and software engineering skills which will assist me in a research with you. In addition to my academic achievements I have done research where I was able to interact and communicate with real world demand on software development. I worked with a PHD and two Master's Degree students researching evolutionary software, during half volume business hours. Due to constant meetings and contact with other developers I was given the opportunity to develop my group work skills.

    I am currently eager to advance my creative, logical and programing skills to a more challenging and engaging level and to being a part of your Algorithm research group would be that opportunity.

    I attached my Resume for more details. Thank you for your consideration on my request.

    Sincerely,

    Pedro García

  7. With the references on email security given above,
    review your settings of your email account and update the settings if necessary.