M.E. Kerr’s Handling of Homosexuality in
Hello, I Lied, a Coming-Of-Age Novel

A short plot summary
Lang Penner is a seventeen-year old who aims to use the last summer of his adolescence for “hiding out…and…coming out”. His plan is live with his mother in the caretaker’s cottage at Roundelay--lavish estate of the rock star, Ben Nevada--work a part-time job in the nearby town, and prepare himself for the big move to New York City, where he will live with his boyfriend, Alex. Wrestling with his homosexuality, Lang soon finds himself falling in love with Huguette and lies about his romantic meetings with the beautiful girl from France. The title, “Hello, I Lied”, aptly illustrates the avenues he travels before realizing the complexity of his sexuality.

Perspective or viewpoint of the narrator
The story follows the protagonist’s feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment in having lived life a “masquerade.” Lang has created this identity for himself by forming relationships with others on the basis of how people will judge his outward appearances. He habitually studied mannerisms and dress to form the perception that he is “straight”. Lang had taken the easy route during his adolescent years because it was easier than dealing with the repercussions of being different, of being an “outsider”.

He once convinced Brittany, his ex-girlfriend, that he was “normal”, and in his selfishness causes her much disappointment when he breaks the news. Lang has figured out that life is unfair when he contemplates how he will miss the privilege of being accepted without question while hanging out with girlfriends. He fears the social stigma of admitting he is homosexual.

Shifts in values during the course of the novel
Lang, through his association with Alex, becomes exposed to the reality of being openly gay. He watches Alex courageously endure the stereotyping and dangers without compromising his truthful nature. Lang is encouraged by this behavior and attempts to embrace his true self and move forward with his life. Lang muses that he is tired of living a lie, pretending he was
someone he wasn’t. He has positioned himself to break free and stand on his own. At the end of the book, Lang faces future with confidence and self-direction, where “nothing of the old comes through.”
In addition to Lang’s desire to be with Alex, a deep physical attraction develops in his relationship with Huguette. Lang is “amazed” at this unexpected physical attraction. He finds that he has the capacity to love and form emotional ties with either sex. This knowledge elevates his regard for himself as a man of the world and creates in him a “clarity” of vision towards his future. Even so, the question posed to him by Nick lingers in the reader’s mind: “if that was gay, what is straight?”

Hello, I Lied, written by M.E. Kerr, deals with “gay” stereotyping, social prejudices, and gay confrontation, but it also opens the door for readers to understand the internal turmoil of growing up on the “outsides” of social acceptability. Hello, I Lied is especially vulnerable to censorship in that it gives the reader a sense of hope in living a homosexual life in a hetero-sexual world.

Who is the YA censor?
Quite simply, any individual or group who wishes to suppress exposure of certain ideas, words or images to readers, and in this case, the young reader, is committing a censorial act. While objections may be in consideration of the best interests of the child, such advocates forget—or fail to see—that, while they may have the final say over the literary choices of their own selves or that of their children—they cannot legally walk over the authority of other parents.

Ideas that promote tolerance of diverse lifestyles or explore human sexuality are easily targeted , uncovering fears that children will imitate or emulate the gay characters and wide-ranging lifestyles found in books. Such fears disrespect the right of each child to grow and learn on their own terms.

The book’s value for young adults
M.E. Kerr’s Hello, I Lied is written as a reflection of her own uncertainties as a teenager. Her creation allows the reader to safely step into the shoes of a fictional counterpart and internalize the problems and solutions to adolescent ordeals. This book embraces both homosexuality and bisexuality with balance and insight.

Characters like Lang’s mother, childhood friends and the rock star neighbor all underscore the value in supportive friends and family. Sexual maturing is difficult enough without the added burden of trying to fit in with peers and societal norms. Readers will learn the complexities of standing up for what they believe in.

Seeing prejudice and acts of aggression in this book will open readers’ eyes to the human condition, even in a small town like reality of being different and can significantly change one’s outlook on the world. We learn that others may live differently but share common values and emotions. We are reminded of the human condition and we learn the value of tolerance as well as to respect the individual rights of others.
Parr’s wrestling with how to act” normal” in high school in order to hide the fact that he is gay. It empathizes with the pain that young adults go through to seem normal even though they feel isolated and out of place.

Stories like Hello, I Lied provide young readers the opportunity to identify through others their own difficulties and to envision viable solutions that help them continue on into adulthood.

Eighteen-year-old Lang’s attempt to rid himself of the “lie” and “masquerade” that impeded his development can assist teenagers to valuing the struggle of gay individuals in their move towards self-expression. Lang is a homosexual male, and through the course of the story develops a deeper understanding of his personality, deals with the feeling of being torn between two worlds, and discovers the surprisingly complex nature of his sexuality.

Role of the YA Librarian
Libraries, because they are public entities, are obvious targets for censors. Librarians must always be prepared to defend the inclusion of all young adult books in their collections. Intellectual freedom is a concept of our American democracy. It stands for the freedom of our citizens, including our children, to inform themselves without repression. Filling the literary needs of young adults, as well as understanding their levels of emotional and social development, are some of the most admirable services librarians offer.

image from amazon.com
Wanda L.Wong © April, 2006