OHE January 11, 1998 (c)

Date: Sun, 11 Jan 1998 20:28:25 -1000
From: Grant Tokumi (gtokumi@aloha.net>
Subject: Re: When answering nature's call...

>Lesson to hikers: choose a trailside location to relieve yourself with

Ahh yes, when nature calls. I've had a few experiences when it comes to this topic. I posted one story about "nature's call" but I guess it was a little too graphic for some people's taste, so this story will hopefully be more tasteful.

The location was Haleakala (Maui), June 1995. We hiked down Sliding Sands past the first cabin and onto Paliku. After setting up camp (we didn't have the cabins), we ate lunch, and I was relaxing. All of a sudden, nature was calling me BIG TIME! I went to my tent to get the VIP (very important papers), and I COULDN'T FIND IT! Yikes! Lesson #1: if you have a full pack, try to remember where you packed your things. Its very hard to stop and think when you are in a frantic rush. Well, I wasn't totally in a frantic rush, but I knew I still had to give myself a few minutes to get to the latrine. OK, finally found the VIP, but it was too late. NO!!!! I didn't do it in my pants! But I knew I couldn't make it to the latrine by the cabins (maybe a 3-5 minute walk).

I decided to go back on the trail and find myself a little place to do my business. So I did just that, went back on the trail, looking for a good location. I chose to go behind a bush maybe 20 ft off the trail. The bush provided some cover, but I could still see the trail from the bush. So I was there squatting, and all of a sudden, I heard voices. And it wasn't coming from my campsite. Other hikers were coming up the trail. Oh no! The voices became louder and closer, and then OH NO! I heard a woman's voice! I sat there quietly, and soon they was right in front of me as I squatted there in a very embarrassing position.

Lesson #2: Choose a good hidden location to do your business. Around 4 or 5 of them were in the group and sure enough, one was a female. And then OH NO!! They saw me!! Nah nah nah, jus joke. you wish the story was that good. I just sat there quietly holding my breath as they walked right past me, and onto the cabins. Whew, what a relief, and in more ways than one. So I finished up (make sure you cover your mess), waited a few minutes to make sure they was long gone, and went back to my campsite. When I came back, my tent buddies saw me with my big smile and they started cracking up because they knew what had happened. They knew I went to use the bathroom, and they also saw the hikers come up the trail while I was gone. Lesson 3: give yourself enough time to make it to the latrine. I could have saved myself lots of suffering and embarrassment if I had planned ahead.

A memorable experience, and I even got another memorable experience on that trip. The next day, I was going to the latrine (I followed Lesson #3 this time) and as I walked past the cabin, I saw one decent looking naked lady taking a shower. Woohoo!!!! Don't get me wrong, I was no peeping tom, I had to walk pass the shower to get the bathroom, and I of course I didn't stop and stare. But for some reason, I got the feeling that she wasn't ashamed if I or anyone else saw her like that. Thats cool with me. The voices I heard in the cabin wasn't english. It sounded like some European language. Maybe they aren't ashamed to show their bodies. And maybe, just maybe, if she had actually seen me on that trail squatting with my pants down, she wouldn't have thought anything of that either. Ahh... who are we kidding.


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