you know everytime i write one of these things i have to look at my handy xfiles calendar (located to my right) to see what the date is. i've never been very good at knowing what date it is. i always have to think about it. i'm one of those today i have/do not have: work/school and that's how i do my days. that's really sick if you think about. i hate being like that. i'm still adjusting to my "new life" that is the one where i don't work 40-50 hours each week, the one where i'm not on-call almost 24/7 for my crew. the one where i'm not responsible for how the store is running, even though i'm not there and even though it is NOT MINE!!! so today i was going to go to the gym and run while W is working but i got caught up in a game of bingo. yes. and then my mom came home and asked me to go to daiei with her. it seems i have somehow volunteered to help her with her honor society induction tomorrow which i don't recall exactly. i mean i did mention that if i wasn't working i would maybe help, but i guess that means yes i will.

i was reading in one of my history books about japanese and american ways of um.. well i'll just explain it. when japanese people say, "i'll try my best" it really means, 'what you are asking of me is nearly impossible, don't count on anything' but to an american that means 'thy will be done' so i think me and my mom have this problem where i say stuff like "well, if i'm not working and it's not too early and it doesn't conflict with my W duties and it doesn't involve having to socialize then maybe i will think about doing it unless of course i am too busy thinking of ways to get david duchovny to leave his family and run away with me" she hears "yes mom, i will do whatever it is you want me to do even if it means i will have to wear a dress"

that's what i get for not being assertive enough. which brings me to my second point of today's entry.. i don't really like being a bitch. a lot of people, even some who know me well (all 2 of them) seem to think that i enjoy being a bitch. well, just because i happen to be good at it doesn't mean i especially enjoy it. i also happen to be good at washing dishes and writing essays, but you don't see me volunteering to do any of those things do you? uh huh. yes, i will go ahead and admit that when i am being a bitch, sometimes i do enjoy it. but it's not like i wake up every morning and think about how i can piss people off. really. i just like being left alone for the most part, but i'm not a push over, i hate people taking advantage just because they can so yessss, if you get in my way i will not be a very nice person. i love run on sentences, they are my friends.

it's kind of funny though, that i can strike fear into so many people, especially when i've briefly or never met them. there's just something about that kind of power. muahaha.

last night i called scottchu because i was up the street from his house at koko head park watching W play b-ball. i'm not sure why but i just had to call and tell him that. talked to him for about 30 minutes, not really about anything, just stuff that even i can't recall clearly now. but it was enjoyable. i like talking to scott he makes me laugh.

not sure what my mom is up to. she was supposed to be calling daiei to see if they have whatever it is she's looking for but she's been out there for a while. i wonder if i should tell her that i'm supposed to leave in 10 minutes for kaneohe. oh well, guess she'll have to figure that out when i'm walking out the door. i gues i can come back after i grab W and then take her there but then W will have to agree to that. well, maybe she'll make spaghetti (W's dinner request) and then i won't have to do that too. sometimes i'm so lazy.

we have to buy kitty food. i wonder how much we actually go through. it must be tons considering there's 6 cats here. cat litter too. which brings the question: how is it that we only need two litter boxes (and only because santy gets his own private haven complete with box and food) hmm.. mysteries of the world. i'll add that to my ever growing list, right after where was the $20 hiding?

torturing myself by looking at the ninja 500 at kawasaki. oh how i pine for you. what the heck is that supposed to mean anyway? pine? like a tree? anyway, now it's even further away considering that basically, i have no job and therefore no income. well, i have a job but due to my unfriendly back/shoulder/neck i've only work... oh what is it? 3 days in the past 3 weeks? i've used up all my sick and vacation pay... soon i'll be dropped off my medical and then all i'll have left is my bottles of meds. sad sad sad

it's red this year. i never like the colors. i'd have to have it repainted in kawasaki green like the big bikes. i don't know why they always come in funny colors. i mean they could at least offer it in black too or something. bastards. but then i'm not buying one *sob* so i guess i could shut up.

still don't know what mom's up to. i did see her on the phone when i walked out to pee. i have to go to kinko's to print some stuff for W's new shift manager. our printer is out of commission due to an ant infestation which i'm pretty sure i've mentioned before. my mom borrowed one from someone at school but there's not cable so it's just sitting here, looking pretty lame.

i need to pick up a photo album so i can go through my pictures from japan. i'm supposed to give some to my daddy and then send some to my grandparents, stuff like that, but instead they're all just sitting in the little developers envelope, all 9 packs. yes, i used about 9 rolls of film during my 2 week stay there. that's over 1 roll every two days. i had a good time with my camera. actually i take a lot of pictures all the time. i just like to take pictures. i think i'm afraid that when i get old i'll lose my memory or something so i'd like to capture everything on film. but yah anyway, now my mom wants to go to mililani. something about wal-mart has whatever it is she's looking for. a coffee pot or something.

back to my pictures. i have a whole bunch which are still in seattle with my brother. i can't remember what else i left out there except for my work uniforms. my brother was supposed to catalog it for me so i could tell him what stuff to send and what stuff to throw away. mostly i just want my pictures. my uniforms, well they're not much good for me here except the skirt is non descript so i guess i could use that. everything else is clearly an airline uniform. i miss that job.

which reminds me, i have to email my brother and ask him to pack my pics and i guess my uniform so my dad can bring it out with him in december.

but yah, i'm gonna go watch xfiles with vel on sunday so i thought i'd go through my pics and bring some over to show him, like ones of santy since he's sooooo much bigger and fluffier than he was in the last pic he saw. i think that was before we left for seattle, when he was still a cute little non fluffy kitty.

anyway, i suppose i'll venture out of these hole of mine for the night...go scan the want ads while i'm drinking my coffee. that's one of the pluses of being here, coffee on demand due to my mom's almost constant desire for the black gold.

i better go find a dress that still fits.