today my math teacher told me i was lazy and didn't apply myself. heclaims that if i ever want to stop working shetty jobs like the one i have now i'll have to be more professional. this of course didn't make me too happy. i'd like to knwo why teachers always think it's the student's fault. it's always because the student doesn't apply themself. did it ever occur to them that it could have something to do with them? especially in my math class where we used to have about 40 people and now we have a whole whopping 5. doesn't that say something? we can't all be lazy and unapplying.

and what the fuck is with this applying yourself shit? they make like if you just apply yourself you can learn anyting at all. bullshit. if application was all it took then you wouldn't have anyone working those shit jobs (like mine sayeth god aka my m ath teacher) because we would have all applied ourselves and became engineers and neurosurgeons and even pro athletes because hey, if it works for school then i bet i could apply myself and become a quarter back in the super bowl, yah. john elway who? i t never occurs to them that maybe there are some things that some people just don't get. can he do everything? i think not. it must be because he doesn't apply himself.

my favorite thing when getting lectured by teachers is when they ask how you're doing in your other classes. they do this to prove their point about you being lazy and unapplying. i love it when i tell them that i'm getting As in my other classes, that i'm an honor student. the expression on their faces...wish ihad a camera because they just kinda say, "oh." when they hear that. so fuck you mother fucker, it's just your stupid class.

last semester i had this sort of problem with my ocean201 class. that one worked out a little better because the teacher was much nicer and way more approachable. he offered to give me a little extra help after class because after hearin g about my 4.0 decided that rather than laziness, my problem was organization. and yes, it was. with his help i was able to piece all the little bits of info floating around in my brain into a nice pretty picture. i managed to pull my grade up from an F to a C in abou t 2 weeks. that, by the way, really hurt my big 4 but first of all GPAs are overrated, they won't transfer to UH anyway, and a C didn't hurt nearly as much as an F would have.

my math teacher is not the kind of guy you want to ask for help, especially after he insults me and my job. like he knows my situation. you can't just assume that every student who does poorly has the same problem. a few times people asked him to expla in, he snapped at then and said that if they would open their ears and listen then it would all make sense. my chem teacher in high school was like that. whenver you asked her to explain anything she would say, "you're honor students, you should be able to do this." OH YAH! we do know how but we were just trying to get you to explain it again because we like the sound of your voice! WTF, obviously we don't know how to get it, fuck the honor student label. here's a big wake up call to all those stupi d teachers and parents out there: it's just not that hard to be an honor student and it means nothing at all, it doesn't mean you're smart and destined for greatness, it's just a stupid label.

another favorite line of my chem teacher's was, "you just have to get it" that's my fav to hear from teachers. i've actually heard it quite a bit too. you just have to know how to do it. well damn, is that all? and i've been spending thousands of dol lars on tuition and books when all i really need is just to get it. well thanks for clearing that up for me. higher education, what a trip.

so after a brief discussion with the dean of students (a SHE btw) i must now obtain the approval of my math teacher. i know he's gonna lecture me. if i didn't need him to sign that damn paper i'l do off at him. tell him where to stick his random number chart. i guess i'll be doing that on thursday or maybe tomorrow if he has office hours while i'm at school. bastard better not give me any problems.

in other new, i've gotten contacts. it's very fun to touch your eyeballs several times a day. it's true, you do get used to it, but it's just interesting to think about. i like my contacts way better than my glasses.

the eye doctor dude was cool. i tried to get contacts before from my regular eye doctor. she refused, saying that it would be just like wearing my glasses all the time. it was pretty werid because i could have sworn i had just finished explaining to he r how i wear my glasses all the time, but hey, why should i expect a med school grad to understand something as complicated as that. she also told me, when i asked her what to do about my extremely dry eyes, "blink more" there was this expression on her face when she said that, kinda like -duh, how can you be so stupid- as if blinking more were the answer to all the world's problems. perhaps i should talk to those guys in korea, i would show them the way to enlightenment, just blink.