the longer i stay here, the more i like it and the more i realize that hawaii is the greatest place to be, but mostly it's the people that make it so wonderful. i mean, after living there for all of my memorable short life, all my friends live there... well sort of. actually that's not really true anymore. okie i think it's just because hawaii has the hottest guys and the best street racing scene that's i've seen. then again i've never really been anywhere else so i'm justbeing stupid. so basically what i'm saying is, i'm doing a lot better out here now and i'm starting to actually enjoy myself although i still ahve those stupid debt problems and stuff but i think they're gonna get better soon.

my kid is trying to kill me. i think i finally got rid of psycho guy. he was getting really scary.

i need to go to work now, but i'll be back later, much much later since i have to close tonight =( i'm gonna miss david duchovny's lips and maybe the beginning of VIP aka dustin nguyen's ass in tight leather pants.

jya!

okie i'm back. hbgds isn't home yet, but then it's stille arly. s. is here so i can't go down and see him anyway. he's funny, hbgds that is. well, s. is funny two, but they're different.

hbgds was wondering how i think of him or something? my reply would have to be, huh? nah, just kidding. well sort of, how do you mean? that would be mny reply.

actually, i like hbgds a lot. i think we get along quite well. he's fun to talk to and i feel very comfortable spending lots of time with him. i know he already knows that i find him attractive, or at least he should know that. honestly, i haven't the slightest clue what he thinks of me, other than the fact that he thinks i'm cute.

hbgds, aside from the white guy thing, fits right into my ideal guy list. older, mature, but not boring, fun, a good job (as in a career, not involving food), worships me (hehehehahahai think i hurt myself) drives a honda...

the white guy thing, well, at least he's not a banana black wanna be. in my defense i have to say that there are not many white guys in HI.

negative on hbgds would be: works for happy airlines, hence the BG of hbgds, just (and i mean just) got out of a looooong relationship, i mean longer than i've even been dating guys, and he has a self esteem thing goign on. actually that last thing isn't so bad and the first is... i don't really know how that works so i can't really say, but that middle thing.... BIG red flag. not quite as big as the one you get for having kids (that are not cats) but pretty big.

i think he has some issues, i mean, i'm sure he does. i just got out of an almost 2 year one and i know i've got a lot of things i need to work on and resolve. just realized, 3 days ago would have been 1 year and 11 months...*sigh*

see what i mean?

i have no idea if that's what hbgds was wondering about when he asked that. very sneaky of him to pose such a vague question.

sometimes i think i say too much, but then again, i honestly don't give a fuck.

the way people drive out here is so nuts. i mean it's like slow, i just can't complain about this enough because it really bothers me. it wouldn't be so bad if the roads were bigger because then you could go around the slow people but ike there's only two lanes and both people are driving slow, you're like stuck.

i've never been single, i used to be afraid of it. i kinda like it now, it's fun to not have to worry about other people and to be able to do whatever i want with whoever i want. yet, i still find myself worrying about other people. funny how that works.