let's talk about sex baby...

more specifically, cheating. now, what exactly does cheating accomplish? what is it's purpose? why do people do it? what is it? should we do it?

let's start with what is it. that really depends on the individual. some peopel consider something as minor as going to the movies with someone else to be cheating. some say kissing, some say sex of all types (oral, anal, "regular") and some say sexual intercourse. Some even say that you can't cheat until you're married. When in a relationship it's important to discuss the definition of cheating just to make sure if you're thinking that it's sex but your girlfriend's thinking that it's kissing, then you don't go kiss someone and cause a whole big problemo.

okie, so now that we've (sort of) established what cheating is, we can move on to why. in my opinion i think people cheat for a variety of reasons. the main one is for attention. they feel they're lacking the attention they need and deserve. they can find it with someone else. another reason is because they want to get caught and want to make their mate jealous. sometimes people cheat because they're bored and or tired of their current relationship. there are people who cheat just because they're horny slut/hos/dickheads/etc who wouldn't know the meaning of commitment if Daniel Webster himself gave it to them.

so now that we've got some reasons people cheat, let's discuss the results. if you're cheating for attention, well, i guess you've got it but do you really want attention from someone who's really only giving it to you because you're giving "it" to them? ok, maybe they wine you and dine you but ultimately it's to reach their hidden (or not so hidden) goal of sex. maybe you think, s/he's so different, cares about me so much, etc etc...well do you really want to be with someone who fools around with a spoken for person? if you do end up with them, who's to say they won't do the same to you?

wanna make someone jealous? why? think about it? do you feel neglected? try talking to the person first? i mean your current thing. tell them how you feel, that might be all it takes. making someone jealous might work for temporarily but it's not a permanent solution. eventually s/he's gonna get tired of always being jealous and having to fight someone else for what they've already earned.

tired or bored? why? it's all about why and thinking. then talk. if you truly do not want to be with the person or you're unsure, tell them. it's not fair to let them think everything is just spiffy-doodles when it's really not. you don't want to hurt them? well how are they gonna feel when they find out you've been cheating? or when you "suddenly" leave them for someone else when they thought you were perfectly satisfied?

cheating by the way is exactly that...cheating. you're cheating yourself because you have to deal with all this guilt (forever) and the trouble of sneaking around and of worrying about TWO people's feelings, needs, wants, etc.

you're cheating your mate because you owe them your total self. that's what you agree to when you commit yourself to them. you're not giving them their time, because either you're busy fooling around or you're planning the next time you're gonna fool around or you're feeling guilty about fooling around. you're also cheating them of your true and honest feelings. you may not say so when you agree to be their steady, but it's kinda like one of those goes without saying things.

finally, you're cheating the person who you're cheating with. huh? well, what do they expect from this? do they want you to leave your mate and hook up with them? do they want a mindless fling? whatever they want, you probably aren't giving it to them because you've got all of the above on you already. by the way, if they say they just want sex with absolutely no commitment, they're probably lying.

it's time for breakfast, so i'd just like to add one more thing. if you do cheat...should you tell or not? well, if you get caught with your pants down, so to speak, then you shouldn't lie. most the time your sig other suspects, so if they confront you, you're only gonna make things worse by lying. if they have absolutely no idea, for the Lord's sake, don't tell them. i hate that, "i'm just feeling so guilty" well of course you are you cheating dork! and good for you. it's something you have to live with for the rest of your life, it's one of the many factors you should consider before doing the deed, so to speak. what are you going to accomplish by telling? well, someone's going to be very upset, to say the least. IF they don't dump your ass right then and there, they're never going to fully trust you, even if they say they do or will. it's just gonna screw everything up, for good.

sometimes people confess because they want to break up but they're too wussy to do it. they figure if they can get the other person to dump them then they'll feel better about it. well, watch out because sometimes it doesn't work that way. sometimes they want to try to work things out or something. so if break up is your goal, i'd suggest you just forget about confessing and just say you'd like to move on. by telling them you cheated on them, it's only going to make them develop a mistrust of everyone. have some consideration.