i'm in the process of downloading AOL .5.0, estimated time remaining: 139 minutes. this comuter is so messed up i'm amazed it works at all. the battery is dead so everytime i turn it on i have to change the hard drive set up and reset the clock because it keeps changing the year. yesterday it was 2094 or something and today it was 1984

i'm going to go watch the superbowl soon because i'm planning to see the titans win. if they do then this will be my fourth year straight. then i can go for five with next year's bowl.

my fingers are numb. i think i should go buy some gloves but i might feel weird wearing gloves in the house. then agin i'm all alone here and it's notlike someone's gonna walk in and laugh atme so maybe i will after all.

so mc has a new girlfriend, in vancouver, my poor heart. oh well, i hope everything works out. ilike when mc is happy. even if it's not with me =(

nah we have that brother's best friend, wouldn't be right, thing going on. even if i did meet him first.. such is life.

you know how it goes those rules about like you can't go out with your exbf's friends or your sister's exbf, or even someone that she just went out with a few times, or evensomeone who she was just interested in. i thinkk those rules really suck because like, shouldn't everyone just want everyone else to be happy? personally, i would be hurt and stuff at first, but then aftrer i saw that everyone was happy, maybe happier, then i think i'd feel better. i'd rather hurt for a little while for everyone to be happy then to be happy myself, knowing that everyone is not ass happy as they could have been.

i see i accidently added an extra s up there so it says ass happy. i was gonna go back and correct it but i think i'll just leave it. besdies there are a lot of typos mostly because well, there's a long list of reasons: my fingers are numb, there's a terrible lag, i'm sitting on the floor balancing the keyboard on my knees, this computer sucks, this connection sucks. do you want more? well too bad, just pick one of the ones i just listed adn be happy! why can't everyone just be happy? why can't i be happy?

my friend dave-id, who is a guest of the state of texas, tells me i have a beautiful soul that is easy; to fall in lo;ve with. i'm thinking he must be right because there is something that attracts a lot of people to me and i'm sure it's not all mylooks. i'm not getting down on myself when i say that because i mean i know i look good and yet i nkow i don't. that would also explain why all my boyfriends previous girlfriend's were nothing like me. it's like they were all like eachother and then there's me who is nothing like them at all. cj for example, his gfs were like skinny, short japanese girls then there was me. d's girlfriends were all at least half korean, short, skinny cheerleaders, then there's me. oh yah, they were rich too. how did i get so many ;s up there? how odd. anyway, i like people who understand me and my personality because i think d finds me to be a bit uh... hmm... like i think he'd like it to be different. he says he is fine with it the way it is but i think he's also said that he wouldn't mind if i changed it. meaning, he'd like to change it.

something else i've been thinking about today, how do you know when it's time to give up? like people who are running their own businesses or trying to at least?? how do you know when to call it quits and stuff like that? you don't want to give up too soon because then youre being a quitter but at the same time, sometimes you just have to be honest with yourself and realize that it's not working out and stop alerady. a lot of my thinking is about coming back home to HI. how long is an appropriate adjustment time? my mom thinks i should stay out here a year before i start thinking about coming home, i'm thinkin ga year is a really long time. at the same time, is thinking this way totally nothelping? i'm pretty much plannin g to fail out here right? i really need a desk or something to stick this keyboard on. should i go back to UH or should i establish residency here and go to western washington university?

cj says he's coming to arizona in august to attend devry, maybe i should check out arizona? hehe i don't want to go to UW but there are lots o;f schools on the mainland that i could go to. if i establish residency in washington then i'll have to give up my residency in hawaii andthen if i did decide to go back to UH i'd be screwed. also if i do work for alaska here then when i go off to western next year i'll have to quit and then i wouldn't have benefits and i'd be stuck in washington all the time until i finish school. we're gonna go check out western sometime so i can see what it's like. maybe in a year i'd be able to establish enough seniority to work weekends only? hehe i doubt it. then again i'd guess not many people would like to work weekends.

anyway, santy is making trouble. it's tough being a single parent. i'm gonna go find the superbowl now andf have my own personal superbowl party since there's no one here but me adn the kid.