Be slow to anger. You've almost always got plenty of time to get
pissed off.
-- C. Vandelay
Stanley, see this? This is this. This ain't something else. This is
this. From now on you're on your own.
--Michael Vronsky
When, upon completion of high school, I became a student at the Haarlem
School for Architecture and Decorative Arts, I came within a
hairsbreadth of having the opportunity to become a useful member of
society . . . But the school also offered a course in graphic
arts.
If you nevah know, I get planny animals. Two of da younges, Happy an
Sunshine, two chihuahua/terrier/??? mix dogs, been hassling me cuz dey
like have one home page fo demselves. Kids dese days. But I gotta help
um, uh, cuz da poor leettle guys canna type. No tumbs, yeah? So I
finally sez, "Kay den, Puppies, I goin help you make one page awready.
What teme you like um have?" An dey sez, "Teme? We no like one teme.
We jes like write whatevahs on top um." So I sez, "Kay den, pooples, but
no blame me if nobody check out yo page cuz stay temeless." An dey sez,
"What about yo home page?" So I sez, "Eh! My home page is one
real tightly constructed ultra-tematic entity." "Like, uh, what da teme
stay?" dey axed.
I sez. An so dey was all habut an nevah like talk to me, which is okay
wit me cuz I like dem two pupstahs tink leeto bit about what kine stuff
dey like me trow on top da Net. You know, I hate surfin into useless home
pages where da autor ramble aroun an no make too much sense. Anyway, one
day I accidenolly surfed into an was readin Conan O'Brien's Harvard tesis
out loud fo dem, an dey was so impress cuz dey really dig Faulkner an
Flannery O'Connor dat dey sez, "Kay, Lanning, we get one teme fo our home
page." "What?" I axed dem. "We like call um 'Da Triumph Stuffs fo Poop
on Page.'" "Souns good, guys," I sez. Hence, what you goin see grow right
heah den is:
What? You don't know who Triumph is? Stay da hanpuppet dog on LATE NIGHT
who always poop on stuff. Please no blame me for da content of dis page.
If you like complain, email me an I goin relay your beefs to Happy an
Sunshine. Den if dey like rebut you, I goin type up what dey say an email
um to you. An so on.
What are you going to do -- shoot me? Shoot me. I would pay you to shoot
my family! I would consider it a blessing!
-- Paul Rusesabagina
Thus, I prefute you. I can see where your argument is heading and
here is what is wrong with what you're about to say.
-- Tony Marcel
Allison, a person doesn't always get what she deserves. Remember it. If
there's anything in life you want, go and get it. Don't wait for
anybody to give it to you.
-- Miss Elsie Thornton
It is true I would like to have been appointed FBI director, but I never
leaked information to Woodward and Bernstein or anyone else!
-- W.
Mark Felt
It has been so long since I've had champagne.
-- Anton Chekov
Are you doing it yet? Because if you're not, I can do it by hand.
--
Nicole S.
The thing is clear enough, until a garrulous and obtrusive learning takes it in
hand; and then darkness begins to gather round it.
-- Henry Norman Hudson
It is in order to shine sooner that authors refuse to rewrite. Despicable. Begin again.
-- Albert Camus
I noticed a Lovely light-blue (& far smaller) blossomer who'd come to her
beauty all alone.
I'd love to change the world
But I don't know what to do
So I'll leave it up to you
-- Alvin Lee (Ten Years After)
This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian':
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
-- Henry V
Before Vietnam, it was illegal to refuse to obey any order. After My Lai,
it became illegal to obey an immoral order.
-- Hugh C. Thompson, Jr.
When you reach the part
where the heartaches come
the hero would be me
but heroes often fail
-- Gordon Lightfoot
You might as well know that Pollyanna's legs are paralyzed.
-- Aunt Polly
Jean Harlow's body technique was the gangster's technique -- she toted a breast like a man totes a gun.
-- Graham
Greene
The Code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules.
--
Captain Barbossa
You'd be surprised what we can get away with until we find out who shot
Steve McGarrett.
-- Danny Williams
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare, That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot:
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease.
-- Katharina (the "Shrew")
My father and I . . . understand?
-- Evelyn Mulray
I been away a long time.
-- Chief Broom Bromden
Not a picture
of crushing winter
but of summer
gone to shadows
in rain
-- for Steven G.
I was home. What happened? What the hell happened?
-- Jake Holman
There was young girls everywhere on the summer side of life
They talked all night
To the young men that they knew on the summer side of life
Goin' off to fight
And if you saw them now
You'd wonder why they would cry
The whole day long
-- Gordon Lightfoot
Look . . . at . . . me . . .
-- Severus Snape
Brothers and sisters, stay cool!
-- Malcolm X
Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now
-- Chet Powers (aka Dino Valenti)
Relax, John Paul. If we're going to work together, we're gonna have to
learn to let a little shit roll off our backs.
-- Sgt. Rita Pompano
He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses,
mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends,
heated mine enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes?
Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with
the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed
by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a
Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not
laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew
wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew,
what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villany
you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the
instruction.
--Shylock
Oh, good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble.
-- Robert
LeRoy Parker (aka Butch Cassidy)
I've been loved and pushed aside . . . Time
I've been crushed by a tumbling tide . . . Time
And my soul has been psychedelicized . . . Time
Time
Now the time has come . . . Time
There are things to realize . . . Time
Time has come today . . . Time
Time has come today . . . Time
Time . . . Time . . . .Time . . . Time
Yeah . . . .
-- The Chambers Brothers
On the ground . . .
-- Charles Dickens
Now your own worst enemy has come to town
Your own worst enemy has come
Your world keeps turnin' 'round and 'round
But everything is upside down
Your own worst enemy has come to town
-- Bruce Springsteen
Live with myself? I don't live with myself. Not for a fuckin' long time.
-- Arman/Michael Clemence
Happy those for whom the fold of . . .
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
What we got here is a failure to communicate--
-- Lucas Jackson
(aka Cool Hand Luke)
I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time to go round and round and round
--Robison, MaGuire, Maines, Wilson
Is that Dora?
-- William Wordsworth
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
-- Jacques
We live in an age where illness and deformity are commonplace and yet, Ploppy,
you are without a doubt the most repulsive individual I have ever met. I would
shake your hand, but I fear it would come off.
-- Blackadder
The blind man!
-- Emma Bovary
And I shall be more silent and cold-hearted Than you are now.
While the author's wildly swerving train of thought did at one point flirt with
coherence, this brief encounter was more likely a chance event (see statistical
analysis in Table 5) than a result of even rudimentary lucidity.
-- Summer Glau
They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you
send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get
Capone.
May you always have food and raiment, and a pillow for your head, and may
you be in heaven forty years before the devil knows you're dead.
--
Traditional Irish saying as told by Gregory Peck in his final public
appearance
Shakespeare's stuff is different from mine, but that is not to say that it
is inferior.
-- P.G. Wodehouse
You can't top pigs with pigs.
-- Walt Disney
I even have a superstition that has grown on me as a result of invisible hands
coming all the time--namely, that if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on
a track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you
ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to
meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say,
follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know
they were going to be.
-- Joseph Campbell
Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.
-- Angela Duncan
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
-- Macbeth
Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?
-- John Lydon
I think you mean "Pina Coladaburg," a song I wrote seven fucking years
before anyone ever heard of "Margaritaville" or that
Son-of-a-son-of-a-bitch!
-- Coconut Pete
An artist has gotta be careful never really to arrive at a place where he thinks
he is "at" somewhere. You always have to realize that you're constantly in the
state of becoming, you know? And, as long as you can stay in that realm, you'll
sort of be all right.
-- Bob Dylan
The coat was easy. The tie was hard.
-- J. Chalmers "Pressure"
Maxwell
I know you all, and will awhile uphold
The unyoked humour of your idleness:
Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
To smother up his beauty from the world,
That, when he please again to be himself,
Being wanted, he may be more wonder'd at,
By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wish'd for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behavior I throw off
And pay the debt I never promised,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men's hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glittering o'er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I'll so offend, to make offence a skill;
Redeeming time when men think least I will.
-- Prince Hal
See you at the party, Richter!
-- Douglas Quaid
They say it'll bloom for a month. Then you can plant it in your yard as a
reminder of your operation. Here's a book on humor. Surgery's nothing
these days. You'll be up and around before you know it.
-- Ted Carter
To live a love, you've gotta give a love
To give a love, you've gotta be part of
-- Neil Young
The last time I made love to my wife, it was ridiculous -- nothing was happening.
I looked at her and said, "What's the matter? Can't you think of anyone else
either?"
-- Rodney Dangerfield
As I was going up the stairs
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away.
--Timmy York/Malcolm Rivers
Excuse me, do you people still execute in this state?
-- Mr. Blue
Death is a gracious mother calling her children home.
Ben, make sure you play "Take My Hand, Precious Lord" in the meeting
tonight. Play it real pretty.
-- The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. to Ben Branch, Thursday, 4 April 1968
With all memory and fate
driven deep beneath the waves
let me forget about today until tomorrow.
-- Bob Dylan
Never memorize something you can look up.
--Albert Einstein
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Hah! Oswald was a fag.
--
Michael McManus
When we walk down the aisle together
We will vow to be together til we die
So much love have we two
Just can't wait to say I do
So in love
Are you and I
So in love
Are you and I.
-- Timothy B. Schmit (All-4-One)
And damn'd be him that first cries "Hold, enough!"
His mind resembled those creatures which the botanists call parasites and which can subsist only by clinging round the
stems and imbibing the juices of stronger plants.
--Thomas Macaulay on James Boswell
And thanks for the pen.
-- Martin Q. Blank
Oh yes, I remember people who actually do things.
-- Bruno Anthony
Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown.
-- Lawrence Walsh
Remember, a writer writes, always.
-- Larry Donner
I'll never let go, I promise.
-- Rose DeWitt Bukater/Dawson
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valéry
So let's take a loan out, put it down on a house
in a place we've never lived
in a place that exists in the pages of scripts
and the songs that they sing
and all of the beautiful things that make you weep
but don't have to make you weak
Cause I never never never never
never never never never
never never never never
never never never never
never never never never
never never never never
never never never loved somebody
the way that I loved you
-- Jennifer Lewis (of Rilo Kiley)
Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees.
-- Stonewall Jackson
That's well said, but we must cultivate our garden.
-- Candide
You wanna play me?
-- Napoleon Dynamite
Of course I will.
-- Precious Ramotswe
Seen The Lost Weekend ? I feel like I just lived it.
-- C. Vandelay
I walk the streets of love
and they're drenched with tears
-- Jagger and Richards
Gioventu mia
tu non sei morta
ne di te morto e il sovvenir!
. . .
Se tu battessi alla mia porta
t'andrebbe il mio core ad aprir!
(Youthful desire
you are not yet dead
the memory of you haunts me still!
. . .
If you were to come knocking on my door
my heart would run to open it!)
-- Marcello (La Boheme)
in te, vivo ravviso
il sogno ch'io vorrei sempre sognar!
(In you, sweet maiden,
I see the dreams of love I have dreamt about forever.)
-- Rodolfo (La Boheme)
It's a dream, only a dream
and it's fading now
fading away.
It's only a dream
it's a memory
without anywhere to stay.
-- Neil Young
And Theodore Bikel was saying, "This is what the young people want. We have to
go with the change. This is what's happening now."
-- Maria Muldaur
In the days gone by I came to believe
everything is trust
all the rest is dust.
-- Gordon Lightfoot
Soon you'd leave me
Off you would go in the mist of day
Never never to know
How I loved you --
If I loved you . . .
-- Julie Jordan & Billy Bigelow
Ye elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes and groves,
And ye that on the sands with printless foot
Do chase the ebbing Neptune and do fly him
When he comes back; you demi-puppets that
By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make,
Whereof the ewe not bites, and you whose pastime
Is to make midnight mushrooms, that rejoice
To hear the solemn curfew; by whose aid,
Weak masters though ye be, I have bedimm'd
The noontide sun, call'd forth the mutinous winds,
And 'twixt the green sea and the azured vault
Set roaring war: to the dread rattling thunder
Have I given fire and rifted Jove's stout oak
With his own bolt; the strong-based promontory
Have I made shake and by the spurs pluck'd up
The pine and cedar: graves at my command
Have waked their sleepers, oped, and let 'em forth
By my so potent art. But this rough magic
I here abjure, and, when I have required
Some heavenly music, which even now I do,
To work mine end upon their senses that
This airy charm is for, I'll break my staff,
Bury it certain fathoms in the earth,
And deeper than did ever plummet sound
I'll drown my book.
-- Prospero
Mongo only pawn in game of life . . .
-- Mongo
If anyone reading this has current contact information for Andrea Tuffli, a West
High School and UW Madison graduate, please email me, Lanning Lee. Mahalo for your kind
help.
Da las time I wen lomi dis page little bit was one sorta fateful day in 09/09.
No mo not'ing been done since den.
Goodbye, stranger, it's been nice
Hope you find your paradise.
. . . aigoo chum . . .
. . . AND . . .
