From: Lee Lady
Date: Sunday, June 06, 1999
To: An Internet Friend
Subject: Re: help! :)

> I know we haven't chatted in ages (although I live on your movie
>recommendations) but I need a favor. I'm desperate for Hawaii vacation
>advice, and I'm too short on time to quiz everyone I know.

> My boyfriend and I had planned to do a week in Nassau in August, but
>the hurricane season is looking very, very bad in the Atlantic for that time
>of the year. Consequently, our travel section is chock-full of Hawaiian
>Island package deals. That sounds wonderful, but I don't have a clue about
>which island to go to! I'm sure everyone you've ever known has begged you
>for vacation tips. If you have a moment, could you clue me in? We're not
>big golfers, or watersports people. I'd like to see a volcano, he'd like to
>see the Pearl Harbor Memorial, we both want to see black sand. :)     Is the
>nightlife on each island pretty much the same? We're not much for dance
>clubs, but would like your recommendation on comedy clubs, strip clubs,
>great restaurants. (Somebody already told me that Hawaii is
>vegetarian-friendly. Is that true?)

You'll have very different experiences depending on which island you go to. Going to several islands is certainly a reasonable choice, but it also has its disadvantages.

O'ahu = Honolulu = Waikiki, for practical purposes. This is the island to come to if you're looking for nightlife. I guess there's some nightlife in Lahaina (Maui), but less, and probably much more expensive. Honolulu is definitely the place to come for strip clubs (dancers get completely naked). Maybe there are a few on the other islands, but not many. Don't go to strip clubs in Waikiki; they're mostly rip-offs and the dancers stay strictly within the limits of the law. There are plenty of clubs very close to Waikiki (Kapi'olani Blvd or Ke'eaumoku Street) where there's no cover charge ($5 for a beer) and dancers will rub their breasts over your boyfriend's face if he tips them a dollar. Club Femme Nu and Rock-za are very popular because they're big and have lots of dancers, but you can get more action from the dancers at the smaller clubs.

The nightlife here is for the most part not all that exciting. Most people who live on the island never go to Waikiki at night. There are two very small very friendly local bars in Waikiki I would recommend stopping in: Spinners and Shott's (in the Hawaiian King Hotel, which is itself very small and away from the beach). Shott's is good in the afternoons, but also go some evening between Wednesday and Sunday when (Frank) Foxe, the owner, is working. Make a point of having a little conversation with him. He can probably give you better advice than you'll get from me.

Pick up a copy of the Honolulu Weekly, Honolulu's free alternative paper, for listings of what's happening around town. It's available at a few spots in Waikiki, but easier to find in other parts of town. There are also lots of free tourist publications, which are okay but not all that useful.

As you undoubtedly know, I mostly go to a bar called Anna Bannana's, which is not too far from Waikiki. Upstairs at Anna's they have local bands from Thursday through Saturday and sometimes Sunday ($5 cover). If you get a chance to go hear a band called Sundrum Village, do that unless you absolutely hate drumming. Downstairs at Anna's is where I hang out. But downstairs at Anna's, like many bars, is a place to have a steady relationship with, not a place to have a one-night stand with.

Go by Hula's Bar & Lei Stand, the main gay bar in town. They were recently forced to move and I haven't been to the new location, but the old place was quite beautiful.

Comedy clubs? Good choice, because it's worth hearing some of the ``local'' humor. But right now, I don't know of where there's any comedy in town.

Realize that we get a lot more Japanese tourists than American ones. So a lot of places cater to the Japanese. Lots of porno shops with big Japanese signs, some shooting ranges, since Japanese can't shoot guns at home.

Waikiki is the concrete jungle. Think of any place you've ever gone that's jam packed with tourists -- Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, the French Quarter in New Orleans -- and that's pretty much what Waikiki is like, except the nightlife is less exciting.

Even so, you can still stay in Waikiki and have a great time. Many people do. There are lots of tour busses taking you to interesting places around the island (such as Pearl Harbor, for your boyfriend, Sea Life Park, if you like watching dolphins, etc.), and the city bus system is very good. (On the other islands, renting a car is absolutely necessary.) In fact, many of the best attractions in Hawaii are on O'ahu. Hanauma Bay, where people go for some of the best snorkling in the world (you shouldn't miss it, even though you're not that much into water stuff), the Polynesian Cultural Center, where they put on some great shows, the Bishop Museum, if you have a more serious interest in anthropology, some good plant museums (what's that word? horticultural gardens, I guess), and many good trails for hiking, plus some good waterfalls (Sacred Falls, Manoa Falls).

Stop by the Pacific Beach Hotel in Waikiki and look at their Oceanarium. It's a major engineering feat (salt water is constantly refreshed from a well under the hotel), as well as having a wonderful collection of salt water fish. (No sharks, but three big rays.)

Look in the bookstores for a good hiking book, for instance O'ahu Trails. And get a bus guide, for sure, and probably some other kind of guide book. Hiking on O'ahu can be extremely gentle or fairly ambitious, depending on what you want. But do stick to the known trails.

And then O'ahu is the place where all the big shopping malls are. The Ala Mo'ana Center (which many locals avoid like the plague) and Pearlridge Shopping Mall, which is only slightly less obnoxious.

Hawaii is outrageously expensive, but shopping in Waikiki is not any more expensive than in the rest of Honolulu. Restaurants are not much more expensive than on the Mainland. (Grocery stores are another story, but that's not your concern.) And yes, there are a number of vegetarian restaurants around town, and many other restaurants have a vegetarian menu.

I don't really have recommendations for restaurants. Thai food is very popular here. Keo's is a big chain of Thai restaurants which is pretty good. There's also a good Thai place on King Street, near where I live, called the Chiang Mai, but in the past few years it's become much too popular. I recently ate at a small Indonesian Restaurant on Kapiolani Blvd near McCully Street which was good, but I've forgotten the name. Something Bali, or Bali Something.

There are some pretty good restaurants in Waikiki, but mostly I think you can find the best choices in other parts of town. But that means knowing what places are good, whereas in Waikiki you're not likely to go really wrong.

Plus, Honolulu is a place where you can walk around town, get out of the tourist areas, eat in little local places, just see what life in this very different state is like. (Although life in Honolulu is very different from life on the other islands. I remember being at a workshop on Mau'i. Several people admired the shirt I was wearing, and I responded that I thought it was a very ordinary aloha shirt; I'd bought it at Sears or Liberty House or somewhere. And people would answer, ``Oh, yeah, well you live on O'ahu. People wear clothes like that over there.'')

I'm not that interested in tourist attractions, so I'm not the best person to ask about them. In twenty years living here, I've never been to the Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor, never been to the Polynesian Cultural Center. What I like to do in a strange city is just walk around, find out what life is like for the people who live there. You can do that on O'ahu.

Now it is possible to stay on the North Shore on O'ahu; the Turtle Bay Hilton would be the most usual choice. But that means you're essentially cut off from nightlife. Even if you'd rent a car, you'd still have the hassle of parking it at night in Waikiki. Renting a car in Waikiki and traveling around the island in the day time is is reasonable choice, because then you can park at your hotel at night. Trying to do it the opposite way is difficult.

There are no active volcanoes on O'ahu. For that, you have to go to the Big Island, where you can walk right down into the crater (the surface is like asphalt) and see steam coming up from the vents. Hale'akala on Maui is not active, but still worth going to (but a horrendous drive).

No black sand on O'ahu.

Lots of people will tell you to avoid O'ahu completely, stick to the neighbor islands. Good advice if you were more into outdoor things. You see a lot more of the ``real Hawaii'' that way.

For me, after a day and a half on Kaua'i, I feel that I've seen everything anybody could possibly want to see. The Big Island is much more interesting and you certainly get a good sense of the old Hawaii. Parts of Mau'i are very touristy, but lots of the island is beautiful and nice. Pa'ia is a nice little semi-hippie town on Mau'i where all the wind surfers hang out. Hale'iwa (ha-lay-eve-a) on O'ahu's North Shore is similar, except that Hale'iwa has been made into a tourist spot, which Pa'ia is not.

Nobody would choose to spend a week on Moloka'i. But it's worth visiting for a day or two, especially if you want to ride a mule down into the canyon.

I'm leaving for San Francisco Tuesday morning, but I plan to be back July 14, so I should be here in August.

Love & kisses,
--Lee