This is my Simpsons Sound Archive. This page was built on quality, not quantity. All the links are 100% working and top quality. They were hand picked from 100's of other simpsons WAV files. These were some of the funniest. Enjoy!
Eh...I could pull a better cartoon outta my...
A-heh heh heh. 
Hey! Whooo! Wasn't that great kids?
What the Hell was that?
Krusty's famous laugh
The 32 Doh's of Homer
To start press any key. Where's the anykey?
I see esc, ctrl, and pgup. There dosn't seem to be any anykey.
Shut-up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!
Stupid bug!!! You go squish now!
Ahhh! fire. What do I do, what do I do? Oh the song, the song.
When a fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn.
Something something then you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophy. Doh!
Homer: Marge, I can't feel
my legs. I can't feel my legs!!!
Marge:
Homer! Homer, those legs belong to the man
behind you.
Homer: Ha ha ha. Hi.
Homer:
Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Man:
Ok Mr Burns. What's your first name?
Homer:
I don't know...
Stupid TV!!! Be more funny!
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T
I mean S-M-A-R-T
Man:
Oh! Now, when I say 'Hello Mr. Tompson' and press
down on your foot, you smile and nod
Homer:
No problem
Man:
Hello Mr. Tompson
Homer:
... I think he's talking to you
A gun is not a weapon marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher knife or a
harpoon or..a...an aligator. You just need more education on the subject
Me fail english? That's unpossible
The Doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there
Man:
Do you hold a grudge against Montgumery Burns?
Moe:
No! (BEEP)
Moe:
Alright, maybe I did, but I didn't shoot um (DING)
Man:
Checks out. OK Sir, You're free to go
Moe:
Good, cause I got a hot date tonight (BEEP)
Moe:
A date (BEEP)
Moe:
Dinner with fred (BEEP)
Moe:
Dinner alone (BEEP)
Moe:
Watching TV alone (BEEP)
Moe:
Alright! I'm gonna sit at home and oggle the ladies in the
Victoria Secret Catalog (BEEP)
Moe:
Sears Catalog (DING)
Moe:
Now would you unhook this already please!
I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment (BEEP)
Moe:
Phone call for Al, Al Coholic
Moe:
Jacque, Strap
Moe:
Is I.P. Freely here?
Moe:
Hey is there a Butts here? Seymore Butts?
Moe:
Homer Sexual?
Moe:
Mai Crotch?
Moe:
Amanda Hugginkiss?
Moe:
Hugh Jass?
Moe:
Ivanna Tinkle?
Moe:
I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt
and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt
Fox TV Censor (Halloween Special) Oh hi! As the Fox censor,
it's my job to protect you from reality.
And thanks to my prudent editing, tonights special halloween show
has been rated TV G. This means there will be no ranchy NBC style sex,
or senseless CBS style violence. So, sit back and enjoy a night
of worry free - Ahhhh - What the fudge?!? Oh for Petes sake!
Jimminy Christmas! Ahhhhhh.....
Fritc Schnackenpfefferahaufene - Very Funny
Hubba Hubba - Another funny one
The Itchy & Scratchy Theme!
Homer:
Bart son, you wanna play catch?![](pixel.gif"){kind=tracking}
Bart:
No...
Homer:
Oh...When a boy dosn't wanna play catch with
his old man, something is seriously wrong
Grandpa:
I'll play catch with you son
Homer:
Get the hell out!
Grandpa:
I'm gone
(Tires Screech)
Homer:
Doh!
Lisa:
A deer!
Marge:
A female deer
Maude:
Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables?
Todd:
Hell no
Ned & Maude:
(Gasp!)
Maude:
What did you say?
Todd:
I said I don't want any damn vegetables
Ned:
All right! Thats it young man. No Bible stories for you tonight
Todd:
Awwww...
Main character's catch phrases one after another!
Simpsons ICQ 2
Simpsons ICQ 3
Bart's Quotes
Movie Clips
Character List
Simpsons Facts
Simpsons Trivia Game
