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These stories were published in the Ka Leo O' Hawaii, the University of Hawaii student newspaper. While they don't explicitly pertain to my semester in London, I'm hoping they will pick up where a weak biography page leaves off.
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Coming-of-age films are notorious for exaggerating a geek's chances of scoring in college by neglecting the appeal of good looks and athleticism. In following suit, 'Cant Hardly Wait' secures its place alongside the most socially irresponsible films released in 1998...
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At present, unemployment benefits allow Hawaii's jobless to line their pockets with 57% of their previously earned income—a percentage based on the individual's highest quarter earnings. Moreover, this figure translates over a six-month period, or for those just fired from McDonald's, that's 26 downs-tingling episodes of the Spiderman / Hercules Weekend Adventure Hour...
Read "How the Unemployed Earn a Decent Living without Me Using the Words 'Earn' or 'Decent'" | Download PDF
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1:21 p.m. A female staff worker reported receiving counterfeit money at the UH Bookstore. The staff worker later commented that while this wasn't the first instance of counterfeit bills changing hands, it would certainly be the last time she accepts a twenty in any of the so-called "collectible colors."
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12:05 p.m. A Freeman guard found what looked like a bomb in the parking structure. The package turned out to be a fireworks ball. The guard later uncovered a large toy robot, which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be one of those deals where the five small robots fit together to form a larger, more impressive robot.
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4:09 p.m. A male student had his coin purse stolen in the Social Science building, room 623. The purse contained approximately $11. As for his dignity, leave it to Campus Beat to strip him of that.