Turn this game into a movie by making up as many bloopers as you possibly can. From: phaubzeldafan
And so started a post that lasted for about seven months.
I've selected a few bloopers for this site. More to come!!
UPDATE: The bloopers in red are new! Not much, but it was a pain to code!!
Think of the production of FF3/6 as one long movie. The bloopers *attempt* to follow the game.
However, a few of the scenes can happen anywhere in the game. . .these are stuck in randomly.
{Mt. Koltz, Looking for Sabin}
Terra, Locke, and Edgar approach the bridge connecting the two peaks. Suddenly Terra whirls round...
Terra: STOP! Whosoever would cross this bridge must answer me these questions 3, ere the other side he see! ^O^
Cast and Crew: >o<# From: Iori Branford
SCENE: The raft ride, the returners fight with Ultros
Ultros: Ha ha haaa!!! I have brought along a friend!!
Everyone else: No you didn't!!
Ultros: [turns around, sees nothing] Whoops, wrong scene. I forgot again. Rats, rats, rats...
[At this point the blue box appears at the top of the screen, with the word "Rats" appearing on it]
Sabin: Oh no, blue text boxes in battle scenes are bad news. [looks up] Whoa, Ultros did bring along a friend..
Banon: [Looks up, everyone else looks up too] Watch out, incoming!!!!
Edgar: Outgoing!!!
Terra: Yes, you are!!
[2 rats from the opera house catwalk fall from the air, land on the raft]
Director: [groans] So it's gotta be puns now...
Edgar: Terra, fight those rats with your MAGIC!
Banon: Oh no, the returners have no hope if the word M-A-G-I-C isn't hyphenated!!!
Terra: No problem. this battle will be easy as pi.
Sabin: You mean "pie", don't you?
Terra: [Casts Magic...takes a deep breath] Fire 3.141592653... etc etc...!!!! [keeps going on and on]
Sabin: Hurry up, will you? There's more rats appearing!!!
Ultros: [Still sulking about his mistake in the beginning scene] Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats!!!..
[Another Blue Text Box appears, with the word "Rats" again appearing on it. 1 more rat lands on the raft]
Rat: Got any cheese?
Edgar: No.
Rat: Hey, cool. You got any cheese?
Edgar: NO!!!!!!!
[Terra finishes reciting pi from memory to 8 hundred digits. The Fire defeats the rats instantly, and also hits Ultros]
Ultros: Ouch!!! Lobster Thermidor aux Crevettes with a Mornay Sauce garnished with Truffle Pate, Brandy, and a fried egg on top and Spam!!!
Terra: But that's got spam in it!!
Banon: Ultros, you're an octopus. You don't have spam in you!
Ultros: Yea I do, I had a spam-burger for lunch today!
Director: [just woke up, he must have fallen asleep. Pretends to know what's going on] CUT! That's a wrap, great job everyone! From: Razaleo
"Locke's Escape From South Figaro"
Scene somethin' where he "rescues" Celes
*Locke jumps down in front of the door and opens it. Inside he finds a sleeping guard and Celes, chained
to the wall. Locke pulls out his wallet and wakes the guard.*
Locke: hey, man, how much is she, and when's her next opening? From: Holy Dragoon
Celes: Aren't you a little too short to be a stromtrooper? Oops, wrong line. From: Urthdigger
Shadow: The Reaver is always-
Director: CUT!!! And take away his copy of Starcraft!! From: me
Imperial camp-scene 3:waiter
Kefka:wait he says. do I look like a........... Day-o! Me say day-o! daylight come and we wan' go home!
Sabin:wtf?
Director:wrexsoul get outta him!
Wrexsoul:hehe, sorry From: Hyperdemon
*The Veldt*
Gau: Me hungry!
Cyan: Dost thou think we should throw the Dried Meat?
Sabin: Whatta we got to lose?
*Dried Meat is thrown*
Gau: You morons. Gau is a vegetarian! *runs off*
Sabin: What the-
Director: CUT! Gau, that wasn't funny!
Gau: But I am!!
I apologize to all vegetarians who were insulted. From: me
On the Veldt when you first get Gau:
Take 1!
Gau: Cyan, you angry me?.....Cyan, you angry me?...Cyan you an- *gets dispatched by Cyan*
Director: CUT!! Cyan what the hell was that, that wasn't in the script!
Cyan: My sincerest apologies, sir. But thou art a pain in the ***. Besides, thine eyes can not see script!
Director: All right, from the top!
Take 2!
Gau: Cyan, you angry me?....Cyan, you angry me?....Cyan,*Gets dispatched again*
Director: CUT CUT CUT! Cyan we've been through this already do NOT do that to him, your supposed to act sad, because he is unaware of what has happened to you!
Cyan: Sorry, sir. *whispers to Sabin* When do I have to stop this Shakespear crap? I'm sick of it!
Sabin: That's nothing, you should have seen what he made me go through on the Phantom Train! Day after day getting run over by cars, missing my jumps, the whole shebang. I was sick of that to.
Gau: Maybe we, revolt director!!
Sabin: Good plan, but let's wait until the scene's done.
50 hours later
Take 549830
Sabin:*snores*
Cyan:*barely keeps eyes open*
Gau:*meditating*
Director:no time for breaks people!! This movies supposed to go to theaters tomorrow!
Cast: WHAT THE **** ** IS WRONG WITH YOU!! YOU PIECE OF **** *****
Cyan: I'll have you know etc. etc. etc.
Director: That scenes not for a while yet!
Sabin: oh, put a sock in it!
*Gau puts a sock in directors mouth*
Sabin: IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!! oi vey!! From: phaubzeladfan
director: ok edgar use your royal shock attack.
edgar: ok
*scene begins
Edgar: KEFKA I LOVE YOU AND I WAS YOUR DATE, PRINCESS LOVE, LAST NIGHT!
*kefkas eyes bug out and he faints
DIRECTOR: EDGAR what was that?!
Edgar: a royal shock From: whizzard19
{Flashback: Egar Flips the Coin}
Edgar: Sabin, let's settle whis with a toss of a coin. If it's heads, you win. We'll choose whichever path we want, without any regrets. Okay? This is for Dad!
Edgar is about to throw the coin high in the air when Terra barges in...
Terra: WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE!!! Edgar, launching a disc of semi-precious metal heavenwards
is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power comes from a mandate from the
masses, not from some farcical numismatic ceremony!!!
Cast and Crew: \ _ / #
Terra: Sorry, couldn't resist...
Everyone makes a mental note to beat her to within an inch of her life if she even MENTIONS Monty Python again. From: Iori Branford
(Celes and Locke have entered the Opera House with Sabin and Edgar. Celes enters the room)
Locke: You should start practicing, Celes.
(Celes sighs and starts singing the scale. She gets it perfect)
Director: CUT!!! Celes, you did it right!
Celes: ??? Then...why did you cut?
Director: Because you were right and that's wrong. You're supposed to cough on So. You were right and that's wrong.
Celes: But...I want to be right.
Director: THAT'S WRONG!!!!!!
Celes: What's wrong?
Director: Being right!!!
Celes: But isn't right right!!
Director: NO!! IT'S WRONG!!!!!
Celes: So I need to be wrong...
Director: YES!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!!
Locke: Took you long enough!
Celes: So...how should I sing?
Director, Sabin, Edgar, and Locke: WRONG!!!!!!!!!!
Celes: So if I sing wrong, I'm right and if I sing right, I'm wrong?
Director: YES!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Celes: I'm confused...
(Director is sweating so much, there's a puddle of it in front of him)
Director: SING WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Celes: Ok...I think I got it.
Director: Good! Go back!
(Take 2)
Celes: (in a singing voice) Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong...
Director: CUT!!! Celes, why are you singing "wrong?"
Celes: You said to!
Director: I meant, sing the scale wrong because if it's right, it's wrong!
Celes: I'm confused!
Director: Heh heh heh heh heh HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Director goes insane and starts running into walls)
Celes: I don't get it. Let's work on it tomorrow. Do Re Me Fa COUGH COUGH!! (off-key) SO!!!
Director: PERFECT!!! THAT WAS WRONG!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Celes: Oh...so I should do it right?
Director: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! DO IT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Sabin: Ok, you are just insane. We're going with normal people like Kefka.
Kefka: Yeah!! Mwahahahahaha!!!!! Normal, like me!!!
Edgar: Time for a normal dinner. Good-bye!! See you tomorrow!!!
(They all left)
Director: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(The Director starts running into the set)
Eh...all the other good ideas were taken. From: Dave521
(trying to get airship from setzer after meeting him)
TAKE 1
Edgar- ok heads we get the airship and you help us on our journey tails you can marry celes.
Setzer- ok
(the coin flips)
lands on tails!?
Setzer- Yahooooo
Celes - AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Director-Cut. Wrong coin you idiots.
TAKE 2
Edgar- ok heads we get the airship and you help us on our journey Tails you can marry celes.
Setzer- ok
the coin flips and lands in a hole floating down to the ground
Directer-****, that was our only coin with two heads! guess we'll have to use the double-tails side coin!
TAKE 3
Edgar- ok heads we get the airship and you help us on our journey tails you can marry celes.
Setzer- ok
the coin flips(again) of course its tails!
Directer-CUT duh you have to sswitch the lines.
Setzer- YESSSSSSS. (starts chasing after celes )
Celes- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (as she runs)
Directer- I Give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(in the backround screams of "GET HER SETZER, HE'S NOT THAT OLD CELES") From: Amos
TERRA: Espers, please heed my call...
*espers all come out at once resulting in them all getting stuck at the door*
ESPERS: Ack!!! Little help?!
Director: Sigh.. AGAIN!?!?! From: Skyblade
Director: OK, We're doin the 'Ifrit tries to attack Kefka' scene again! Places...
Ifrit: sweeeeeeeeet
Kefka: GET MY DOUBLE IN HERE!
Director: damn it! you dont need a double in this scene!
Kefka: Every time we do this, he sets my ass on fire!!
Ifrit: Quit your whinin!
Kefka: I'll kill you
Ifrit: Try it, little *****!
Kefka: THAT DOES IT!!
Director: **** IT!!! Kefka, Ifrit, get the hell outta my sight. AND NO BACKSTREET BOYS MUSIC VIDEOS FOR EITHER OF YOU FOR A WEEK!! NEW SCENE! Opera house. Everyone on stage! Ultros, get up to the catwalks, now!
Ultros: guess what? Im using my own octopus ink to write a story.
Director: ACTION!!
Ultros: Its gonna take me 5 minutes to... I have to use the bathroom!
Director:(to cameraman) Just keep filming. Im gonna go out back and take some LSD.
Ultros: I forgot my lines!
RRRROOOOAAAARRR
Celes: ?? what the hell are you doing here?
Dirt dragon: Its not my scene?
Celes: Nope
Dirt dragon: I hate myself. I want to die... (casts Magnitude8. the whole building shakes)
Ultros: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (falls from catwalks, lands on Celes)
Celes: GET OFF OF ME!
Ultros: Im an octopus. I can swim.
(Locke jumps on stage and pushes Ultros of off Celes)
Locke: You okay?
Celes: I think he broke my liver...
Locke: What about you Ultros, are you ok?
Ultros: Can I have some fries?
Dirt Dragon: This is all my fault! Wanna play a board game?
Setzer: I wanna be on Ultros' team!
Ultros: Me too!!
(director walks in)
Director: CUT! (the to cameraman) show me the playback...
(Director watches the whole scene)
Director: Whats with these people!? They have no attention spans!
Cameraman: The green light means on, the red light means low battery.
Dirt Dragon: I wanna get high.
Celes: Ultros, get your legs off of my legs, sicko!
Ultros: but Im pretending Im a helicopter! hey, painter girl, Uncle Ulty want to be painted!
Locke: Relm isnt here Ultros... she left an hour ago
Ultros: ... ... ...hey, painter girl, Uncle Ulty want to be painted!
Celes: Locke just said she isnt here... ya got wax in your ears?
Ultros: I'll tell you a secret if swim naked with me.
Celes: AAHH! NO WAY!
Director:(to cameraman) do these jackasses think we're still filming?
Cameraman: We are still filming
Director: WHAT?! I SAID CUT! you were supposed to stop filming then.
Cameraman: Can I be the director tommorow?
Director: Go hang yourself!
Cameraman: CAN DO! (leaves)
Setzer: Im thinking of a number. you guys gotta guess it... ok, got it.
Ultros: 13443545565829
Setzer: What was the question?
Locke: Is this scene over yet?
Director: You are all braindead. Please leave now. We are done. I hate my job.
Ultros: Sometimes I change the channel for no reason at all.
Director: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! (runs away crying)
Setzer: hehe, ok, thats good enough, lets take it seriously next time or we'll drive him over the edge.
Locke: heh, no problem
Dirt dragon: see ya all tomorrow
Celes: all right, and nice ad-libbing, Ultros.
Ultros: Am I brilliant, or am I brilliant? From: Caelus
This is my first time trying so let's see if this works.
*Floating Continent at Statue scene*
Take 1
Director: ok, statues, you are supposed to miss four times before hitting Gestahl with a megaton lightning bolt.
Statues: uh ... ok...
Director: Alrite, ACTION!
*Statues fire first bolt and hit Kefka*
Kefka: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Director: CUT!!! Statues, you were supposed to miss. (to crew) Alrite, re-take.
Kefka (to Statues): I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Director: We already did that line Kefka. Take 2.
Take 2
Director: Action!
*Statues fire bolt and hit Gesthal, almost killing him*
Director: CUT!!! Get the ambulance!!! (to Statues) Are you guys stoned out of your minds or something?!?!
Doom: ...
Goddess: ...
Poltergeist: ...
Doom: uuuhhhhh.....
Goddess: ummmmmmm....
Poltergeist: ....per...haps....
Director: *groans & shakes head* Alrite, take 3.
Take 3
Director: Action!!!
*Statues fire bolt and hits the director where the sun don't shine*
Director: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh ..... take 30. *silently* F, F, F, F, F, F ... !!!!!
Sabin: Cool. A month long break.
Well if it isn't funny to you, then you mark it for moderation and say it was a bad story. LOL From: The Xterminator
Desperation Attack Bloopers:
Director: Ok Sabin, you will use your Tiger Break in this fight against the MagiMaster. Ready?
Sabin: Yeah!
Director: And...action!
(Sabin runs off stage)
Director: What is he doing?!
(Sabin then returns with a couple of tigers that have broken loose from a cage)
Sabin: Get him!
(MagiMaster starts screaming like a little girl as he runs around the set being chased by the tigers)
Director: CUT!!!!! TERRA, WILL YOU PLEASE KEEP THOSE TIGERS IN YOUR DRESSING ROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR?!
Terra: Whoops! Sorry...
Locke: I TOLD you it was a bad idea to let her buy those from that dangerous pet store!
Desperation Attack Blooper 2:
Director: Now DON'T mess up this one Setzer. Use Red Card on Atma.
Setzer: Fine...
Director: ACTION!
(Setzer blows a whistle and holds a red card up)
Setzer: You're out of the game!
Atma: WHAT?! THAT WAS A CLEAN TACKLE!!!! I GOT THE SOCCER BALL FAIRLY!!!
Setzer: Not in my book!
(Setzer writes something down in a notebook)
Atma: I WAS CLEAN!!!!!!
Setzer: NO YOU WEREN'T!!!
Director: CUT!!!!!!!!! NO!!! NO!! NO!!!
Locke: It's a good thing that these are you rarely.
Setzer: Ok, free kick for the human team!
(Atma goes off the set hitting the scenery on his way out)
I'll do more later. From: Dave521
Alright, I'll take a shot at this...
Be warned, it's been a coupla months since I was this far back...
Tzen, World of Ruin
Director: And... ACTION!!!
(Light of Judgement burns Tzen completely off the map)
Director: What the?!? (Grabs king-sized megaphone) KEFKA!!!
Kefka's voice thundering from his tower: WHAT?
Director: You've got that thing turned up way too high! You're supposed to keep it on medium!
Kefka: Yeah, yeah... (mutters) I hate hate hate hate...
Tzen, WOR (Take 2)
Director: Alright, take two... and... ACTION!!!
(Light of Judgement vaporizes the house, leaving a smoking crater)
Director: %#$@! (megaphone) KEFKA!!!
Kefka: ...hate hate hate hate... WHAT NOW?!?
Director: Put the LOJ on low if you can't handle it!
Kefka: $#@&! Hate hate hate hate...
Tzen, WOR (Take 3)
Director: Take three! And... ACTION!!!
(LOJ blasts the house. Celes grabs the roof, Sabin runs inside)
Sabin: Celes! I can only hold this thing for... hey, wait a minute...
(Celes' strength gives out and the house collapses)
Director: CUT!
Kefka: AGAIN?! ...hate hate hate hate...
Tzen, WOR (Take 4)
Director: (mutters) Why didn't I stay on Broadway? (louder) And... ACTION!!!
(Kefka does his thing. Celes pushes Sabin out of her way as she runs to the door. Sabin loses his balance and goes over the rail. Celes runs in and has the unsupported house collapse on her.)
Director: (wearily) Cut, cut...
Kefka: ...hate hate hate hate hate hate...
Tzen, WOR (Take 5)
Director: ACTION!!!
(Light of Jusgement vaporizes Celes and Sabin, leaving the house, balcony, and crowd untouched.)
Director: (megaphone) KEFKA! YOU STUPID ^#$#$! ONE MORE ^$#%UP AND YOUR #@$ IS OUT OF HERE!
Kefka: (seething) ...HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE...
Tzen, WOR (Take 6)
Director: This better be the last time. ACTION!!!
Kefka: ...HATE YOU! Grr...
(Kefka vaporizes the director.)
Kefka: Poor fool... Oh, well, what a pathetic excuse for a director! Come on guys, let's go grab a beer.
(A relieved cast and crew follows him off the set.) From: rubberchicken
Bloopers involving Daryl's Tomb:
*Exploring The Tomb, Take One*
Would you like to carve something?
Yes.
*Expletive deleted* comes to mind.
Director: Edgar! This is NOT the time!
*Exploring The Tomb, Take Two*
Terra presses the switch, expecting the water to rise so that she can ride the turtle across the water to the door. Instead, the remaining water drains away, leaving the floor completely dry.
Director: DAMNIT!!! WHO THE HELL ENGINEERED THIS? GET ME THE STAGE DIRECTOR, NOW!
*Going towards the Falcon, Take One*
Setzer: This brings back a lot of memories...I can't really expound upon that though, so I am going to keep walking.
Director: Just say "This brings back a lot of memories...". This is not improv!
Setzer: Well EXCUSE me, but how is the rest of my party going to see the thoughts in my head that appear in the top left of the screen?!
Director: Argh!! I can't work like this. Lets just try again, OK?
Setzer: Fine.
*Going towards the Falcon, Take Two*
Setzer is reflecting
Daryl: This experimental toilet plunger is probably a bit unstable. The Falcon seems to be in good working order, however.
Director: CUT!!!
*Going towards the Falcon, Take Three*
Daryl: This experimental airship is probably a bit unstable. That makes sense considering the budget we are on, and that the Falcon is made out of cardboard.
I can't even believe I'm doing this gig. Come on Setzer, don't you agree? Lets go on strike!
Director: DARYL, YOU ARE REALLY STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES!!!
*Going towards the Falcon, Take Four*
Setzer, still reflecting
Daryl, to Setzer: If something should happen to you, the BlackJack is mine!
Director: No, you are SUPPOSED TO say "If something should happen to me, the Falcon is yours!"
*Going towards the Falcon, Take Five*
Daryl: If something should happen to me, I'm giving the Falcon to charity.
Director: No, thats all wrong, again!
*Going towards the Falcon, Take Six*
Daryl: If something should happen to me, the Falcon is yours!
Director: Great, next scene!
*The Airship Race, Take One*
Daryl: Come on! Stop gagging back there!
Setzer: Sorry, its just that I really am not that great about riding these airships.
Director: Save this for when we are OFF CAMERA!!
*The Airship Race, Take Two*
Daryl: Come on! Stop lagging back there!
*Suddenly, the BlackJack roars past the Falcon, leaving it in the dust*
Director: Setzer, COOL it! Your not supposed to be winning, you idiot!
*The Airship Race, Take Three*
Daryl: Come on! Stop lagging back there!
Daryl: Or do you like chewing on my cake?
Director: *sigh*, You are supposed to say, "Or do you like chewing on my WAKE."
Daryl: Sorry...
*The Meeting Place, Take One*
Setzer: The wreck of the BlackJack was found a full year later, in a distant land...
Director: You DO know that we are talking about the Falcon, right?
Setzer: Oh yeah...crap.
*The Meeting Place, Take Two*
Setzer: The wreck of the Falcon was found a full year later, in a distant land...I restored it and sold it to a tomb digger on Ebay for 1,000,000,000 GP.
Director: No, thats not how it got in the tomb! Just stick to the script, okay?!
*The Meeting Place, Take Three*
Edgar, to Setzer: You mean THIS is the Falcon?
Director: No, you have to emphasize the word, THE!
Edgar: You MEAN is the Falcon?
Director: Its still wrong!
Edgar: YOU mean this is the Falcon?
Director: NO!
Edgar: You mean this is THE Falcon!!!!!!
Director: Its a question, not a statement, you moron!
*Flying towards Friends, Take One*
The Falcon begins to slash through the water, leaving a huge wake. It is unable to rise, though, because it has been completely flooded. It sinks to the bottom of the sea.
Director: Damnit! Who designed that ship anyway!
*Flying towards Friends, Take Two*
The Falcon begins to rise out of the water, but slams into an island, and sinks again.
Director: I knew we were a little to close to shore...oh well, my bad.
*Flying towards Friends, Take Three*
The airship successfully disembarks.
Celes: We can attack Kefka's tower from the ground!
Edgar: No we can't you love starved twit, thats why we had to get this airship in the first place!
Celes: *Hurls herself dramatically from the airship, slamming at 90 mph into the water. She somehow survives to do the next scene*
*Flying towards Friends, Take Four*
A bird flies by.
Celes: Setzer, follow that bird!
Setzer: I think she's still a little groggy from hitting the water...
Director: Just do the freaking scene again.
*Flying towards Friends, Take Five*
Celes: Setzer, follow that bird!
Setzer: But why?
Celes: Because it will lead us directly to Cyan!
Director: Celes, you aren't supposed to read ahead in the script like that!
*Flying towards Friends, Take Six*
Celes: Setzer, follow that bird!
Setzer: But why?
Celes: I...don't know! Something inside me just tells me its important. And it stole one of my earrings!
Director: Thats it...I can't work with this crew. *Casts Merton, destroying everything*
The End From: OrnateKiller
*Mobiz the 2nd time in WOR*
Director: Okay, the first meeting was great! This time, do it with feeling.
Katrin: Do you want me to really have this baby?
Duane: That's not what he Meant!
Director: Places everyone! And..... ACTION!!!!!
Kid: Help! Phunbaba's Back!
Edgar: Don't worry. When I introduce him to Mr Tic-Tac, he'll cower in fear.
Director: Cut!
Edgar: What did I do Wrong?
Director: You were looking at Me, you idiot! Do you like me or something?! You're supposed to look at your fellow actors.
Sabin: Can I hit Phunbaba with my Bum Rush Blitz?
Director: Wait until the Fight!
Gau: Me CameraMan! Hey Mr Thou, Look!
Director: GAU! What are you doing with that! It's not a toy! Now we'll have to do the first Scence all over again,
Katrin: Director, I can't wait that long. From: Mewtwo64
Atop the Fanatics Tower
*Edgar opens the treasure chest and takes out the gem box*
Edgar: Hmm...this ought to be useful
*the party exits the room and stops in front of it*
Edgar: what th-!
*Cult of Kefka members make their appearance walking up the last flight of stairs*
Celes: Uh oh...
*the second in line accidently steps on the firsts robe, the first one loses his balance, and when trying to regain it, falls backwards*
Cult of Kefka member: oh gripes!
*they all tumble down like dominos, and roll all the way down every flight of stairs*
Director: CUT!...*he looks down from a scaffold they set up for filming* Oh man...its gonna take a while for them to stop...HEY! Who decided to make this set to-scale???
Assistant director: Um...I believe that would be Kefka.
Director: Curse him!...oh well. From: Chad
(At Ebbot's Rock)
The search for Coral; take 1
*Sabin sees a chest & opens it*
*A bat shrieks, and flies out*
Sabin: AHHH!!!!!
*Runs around the corner, eventually comes back*
Sabin: Is it safe? I didn't think we were going to have REAL monsters here!
Director: Cut!!! Sabin, take 5.
The search for Coral; take 2
Sabin: Uh... Strago, where are we?
Strago: You're asking me?! YOU'RE supposed to know!
Cyan: Where's the map?
Sabin: Map? What map?
Director: Cut!!!
Sabin: Somebody get me outta here! I'm afraid of the dark!
The search for Coral; take 3
Sabin: I could've SWORN there was a save point right here...
Director: ... CUT! From: Rapidian Master
(The party has just met Gogo)
Gogo:...
Party:...
Gogo:...
Director: CUT! Gogo, you're supposed to have a line here!
Gogo: CUT! Gogo, you're supposed to have a line here!
Director: No, that's not your line.
Gogo: No, that's not your line.
Director: (to himself)I see... (to Gogo) I am Gogo, master of the simulalcrum!
Sabin: No you're not. You're the director.
Gogo: No you're not. You're the director.
Director: I hate you, Sabin. From: DomaDragoon
Director: Ok...we've been having a bad day in the Desperation Department. Terra...you're going to do your Riot Blade. DON'T MESS UP!!
Terra: Fine...
Director: ACTION!!!
(Terra holds up a knife)
Terra: (to the crew) Do you see this? This is a blade! This kills our children almost as badly as a gun! I say we riot in front of DC!! No more blades! No more blades!
Director: CUT!!! Terra, I know you like the knife safety rule but that is NOT a Riot Blade!
Locke: Am I the ONLY one who can actually perform a Desperation attack right?!
Edgar: No. I can.
Director: Alright Edgar. Do your Royal Shock.
Edgar: Fine.
Director: Action!!
(Edgar runs off the scene. He returns with some "inappropriate" magazines)
Edgar: I found THESE in Relm's room!
Director: CUT!!! EDGAR!!!
Edgar: Well, it was a Royal Shock!
Relm: Here's a REAL Royal Shock. Those are Edgar's!
Celes: Umm...that's not a Royal Shock. He likes those kind of things. He doesn't just act them in this movie.
Relm: Oh...
Director: Alright. Mog, it's your turn. PLEASE do the Moogle Rush correctly.
Sabin: It's my Pummel, Mog. Just do it like that.
Mog: Umm...ok.
Director: ACTION!!
Mog: (to himself) Now what is Sabin's Pummel like? I don't remember. Oh well.
(Mog blows a horn summoning a whole bunch of Mogs to rush at KatanaSoul)
KatanaSoul: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
(KatanaSoul runs away like a little pansy)
Director: Cut...NO MOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sabin: I EVEN TOLD YOU HOW TO DO IT!!!!
Locke: Well, you messed up too...
Sabin: Why you dirty...
(Sabin leaps at Locke. Locke sidesteps and Sabin hits the ground hard)
Sabin: OUCH!! I HATE HATE HAT-
Kefka: THAT'S MY LINE!!!!!!!!
Director: Ok...NEXT!!!!!!
(Director is starting to turn red)
Director: Ok...Celes, you try. Use Spin Edge.
Celes: Fine.
Director: ACTION!!!
(Celes runs off the set. She comes back with Edge from FF4 and starts spinning him around hitting Doom with it)
Edge: OUCH!! Hey, stop! That hurts! Yikes!
Director: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S NOT IT!!!!
(Celes keeps spinning Edge)
Director: Locke, stop her. Please?!
Locke: Alright... From: Dave521
Staff member: sir we're finished. which bloopers should we put into the credits?
director: all of them.
Staff member: all of them?! that's 30 hours of stuff from rated E to rated R!
director: more like rated xxxx hehehe. with all those pimply fanatic fan boys out there, I'd make a fortune! ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Staff member: uh, sir? the camera is on fire.
director: OH S***t!!
Staff member: what do we do now?
director: ...get the cast back, we're doing it OVER! From: Zorander
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