Mike Needs A Date!!

Mike Needs A Date!!

A cool picture of mike

Mike is in need of a date.

If you are an attractive, intelligent, FEMALE, more or less Mike's age (23) there are many good reasons why you should consider Mike for your next romantic interlude:

Top Ten Reasons Cool Chicks Should Date Mike

(as compiled by Mike's friend Kimberly)

  • Mike is kinda intelligent

    Although Mike cannot tell his left from his right, there are those who will say that he is a pretty smart guy, some of these people are considered intelligent in their own right.

  • Mike has an excellent sense of humor

    In addition to having a rapier wit, Mike is able to recount the vast majority of the punchlines from every gag from every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus, which many would consider to be the penultimate in humour.

  • Mike is stinkin' filthy rich

    Well to tell the truth this isn't quite accurate, but if you're the shallow, self-centered type who this would matter then fine, see what Mike cares....

  • Mike is a sensitive, Donahue-watching, 90's type of guy

    Hey Mike cries during "Old Yeller", but don't get me wrong, in a totally masculine way, of course.

  • Mike works with marine mammals and endangered species
    (only impressive to those who don't work with them too.)

    Hey, Dolphins! That should be worth something, actually Mike more typically works with Hawaiian Monk Seals, but he has worked with dolphins and a whale/dolphin hybrid thing once.

  • Mike can cook like Julia Childs

    Pesto! Mike has his own secret recipe for the worlds best garlic pesto, using basil Mike lovingly cultivated himself. Mike can also execute a perfect saucè bernaisè and makes a mean picnic lunch, complete with brie, and a lovely chardonnay.
  • Mike can speak three languages

    Mike speaks english.
    Mike parle français.
    Mike hable español.
    Plus Mike is able to say the pharse "Raul has a ball in his pocket" in a dozen different tounges.
    Example 1a.
    Japanese:
    Raul-wa pocketto-ni boru-ga arimasu
    Mandarin:
    "Raul de koudai-li you yike qiu." (Thanks to Adria for the new translation!)
    French:
    Raul a un bol dans su pouchè

    Mike now has the Hindi and Tamil translations thanks to Mel (who also needs a date)

    Hindi:

    Tamil:

     Any other translations are welcome, I kinda want to get it in latin too.

  • Mike does cool manly-man things like scuba diving and moutain biking.

    It's not all wimpy fru-fru hand holding stuff for Mike, he has scuba dived to really DEEP manly depths, and propelled his mountain bike unflaggingly up enourmous mountains.

    Now available:


    Mike's online date request request form






    This page maintained and written by Mike
    Last update 12/21/95
    Comments, suggestions, complaints, anonymous love letters? Tell it to Mike