8/18

Have to go in to set up the classroom tomorrow. Help, anyway. I think the messy nun has it mostly figured out. So that's the good news: the paperwork finally found its way out of the state office and I have a job. Another teacher called me up and asked if I wanted to sub out the rest of the year (from Jan to June) as well, but I said no (I said no!) and thank you but I have to go ten hard in the Spring, school-wise. It's worth the pain and broke-ness, I think.

"Roughing it" with Con and Benny was fun, but except for a little heat it wasn't rough at all. (We essentially camped out in the grassy backyard of a luxury summer home on the beach.) We made s'mores (my first time since Brownies, I think) and cooked hot dogs. We went to Bellows and got slapped around like sissies in the waves and Con's sister's bf claimed he got stung by a Portuguese man-of-war, of which there was an extreme abundance that day. Eugene's Brother exposed his townie roots by repeatedly wondering aloud, "Are Portuguese man-of-war really that small? I thought they were a lot bigger!" We swung on a big swing and learned how to get on a hammock, and fed senbei to a sand crab. I may never be a country mouse, and definitely never a beach bunny -- but there's something to be said for falling asleep to the sound of crashing waves.

Tonight at m&m class there was no grapevine dancing. We started right off some boring drills and got our projects back (some deductions for not including LP evaluations but nothing permanent), and she let us go early after recorder practice (we learned b-flat and some really high notes that you can only achieve by half-thumbing the thumb hole. So there really is a much greater range to this pipe than I previously assumed, but it's still a terrible-sounding instrument.) She also played us a lot of jazz music tonight, as well as Native American and African American music. She's a multicultural music specialist and she believes that multicultural perspectives should be employed in all subjects (i.e. astronomy classes should incorporate myths and legends with the scientific aspects of the functions of the universe. This, she says, is true balance in education.)

8/22

thank GOD it's friday, thankyouthankyouthankyou. and i only started yesterday. actually i did go in on tuesday and wednesday but none of that prepared me for the shock of thursday and friday. and we don't even have all our kids yet. actually, i have all my loveys but the Nun's still waiting on two -- and this is kind of a "what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine" setup. the Nun said this is the worst bunch she's had in years and she's really not the hyperbolic type, i think she really means it. my experience in there is more limited, i part-timed for a year and ea'd this past summer, so i don't think i can make any superlative statements. also i've never been full-time before. the thing is even though i'm a sub, because i've been there before and because i'll be there till december, i'm not the kind of sub who gets to leave at 3:00 when the day is "done." i have to plan, conference, apologize to Felix-bred parents (the Sue-Happies) for not knowing absolutely everything, never go to the bathroom while at work, and know about a billion acronyms. oh well, one cool thing (besides the loveys, of course) is that i have my own desk, yessiree, and it's already covered with containers of chocolate from sympathetic K teachers (actually they're saying nanny-nanny-boo-boo but we'll see who laughs last). i'm excited about the desk because the only other personal space i had was not so personal, it was a table in the storage room, next to the toilet (at least there was a door) and refrigerator. that was when i was w/ second grade. sometimes i had to cram ten kids in there with me! anyway the desk itself is like a fire sale reject but that's okay, it's mine for now and it's way in the corner so nobody will come in and steal the lunch money in my purse. also there is a lot of chocolate on it.

but the kids ... i feel like ... the catcher in the rye, or something. they are all running in different directions (some because something in their head commands them to, some because they like getting chased, some because they have no concept of danger) and i and the others have to link arms and make sure they don't fall over the drop that they can't see because of all the rye. sometimes i just want to sit down and play blocks with them but i can't because i have a different job now. which is cool, but sometimes you just want to sit down and play blocks and catch your breath.

last thought: i read this by ursula leGuin (actually i do not know if it was her, but for some reason i think it was): be careful what you give to children, for you are sure some day to get it back. and with that ... we enter the fray.