5/31

My stuff came. Today? I think. Apparently I slept through a dog block-party last night, that's how tired my body and brain have been lately. But anyway, I was happy to see my smiley box had arrived (although someone had placed it on a pile of dirty clothes so I didn't see it for a few hours.) The DVDs I'm too busy to watch right now ... if I didn't have a paper, a lesson plan and an art project due in less than 7 hours I'd be watching the fourth season right now. "The Art of Maurice Sendak" arrived also, and I'm SO DISAPPOINTED that it's not exactly the same as the one I borrowed from Mc-Cully-Moiliili. It has a glossy jacket, unlike McCully's, which has a clear plastic overlaying jacket with the title printed on it, and the art printed on the actual cover. Also, it does not have the pop-up and other 3-D features I loved so much about the "real" one. I guess I wasn't specific enough in my Amazon search. Otherwise it's the same book. But I'm bummed. No wonder it was so cheap.

Finally got my ass on a docent tour at the art academy. It was very lame because I was the only one who wanted to take the 1:30 tour. So it was just me, the 90-year-old docent, and a lot of silence to fill between galleries. I would have preferred to browse on my own but the assignment was to take this tour so I had to, even though I hate guided tours. Here's a cool story, though. Shiva, father of Ganesha and Skanda, offered this challenge to his sons: whichever of them could circumnavigate the universe quickest would win the privelege of always being worshipped first. So Skanda rounded up his peacock and took off at top speed, leaving Ganesha in the dust. Ganesha simply circled his mother and father (whom he knew held the universe within them) and sat back down, waiting for his brother to return. Of course Skanda was pissed off when he got back and found out. I would be, too. Apparently Skanda and Ganesha were like Goofus and Gallant and Skanda was always taking shortcuts and getting in trouble but Ganesha was a goody-two-shoes and everyone loved him more. Somehow I relate more to Goofus than I do to Gallant.

Oh, well.

6/2

lordy, it's June, I have wisdom teeth surgery in 25 days. Although I finished a lot of big presentations and things, I still have a lot of things due very soon. But I am so proud of myself, I learned something from the whole Bella fiasco: How to Say No. For some reason lots of people want babysitters around this time, possibly because school is getting out and they haven't quite solidified their kids' summer care arrangements yet. I still feel awful saying no, but I've taken a gigantic step toward restoring my mental health by saying no at all (twice so far!) and even though the first time I said "okay" and then had to call back and say "sorry, no" the next time around I got it right and said "sorry, no" the very first time. And we had a pleasant chat anyway.

The yucky thing besides not seeing the kids and not being able to help out is of course not getting paid. This doesn't pay a whole lot (especially since I took on Bella's two devil children and had to lower rates across the board) but it does put money in my pocket, sometimes enough to take to the bank, and now it won't, and after the four weeks of EA'ing summer school I'll have school and no work, and therefore no money. Better start cutting them credit cards now.

Just got a whole bunch of bills paid and am kind of happy that I didn't have to hit up my parents (not that I'm beyond that, when need be) but I'm sitting on the line right now and have to be careful not to sink. As I said, I will be unemployed shortly. With fewer sitting prospects (because the biggest one moved away) but a full-time (though temporary) job coming up in the fall. Also have sub training course coming up in the summer, it's about a month long and meets twice a week. That should keep me pretty busy, not to mention real school which I have to register for soon. No summer break or even summer school, the summer term is just a regular 10-week term like all the rest. I was hoping to overload again but they stacked all the methods courses on Monday evenings so that's that. My mom actually told me to take a break. I wonder when she'll retract that one.

Time for school. Cause it's always time for school.

6/3

Headache. Caffeine withdrawal? 25 out of 60 book cards done. Have about 40 at least partially done. I like this project, though, bc it spans all genres. Barbara Park's Junie B. Jones books are hilarious, side note. Tangent 'cause I'm thinking of caffeine: saw Gredo and her lover today. I can't help thinking -- under parallel circumstances we just might have been friends. I would have been the third wheel, no doubt (I lack their special ability to be completely immature at the drop of a hat, and also I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that) but stranger friendships I have seen. Eugene's Brother would kill me for saying this bc he hated the big G with a passion and I don't deny that he had excellent reason. That's why I said parallel circumstances. Never in reality. Anyway we chatted briefly (I was babysitting Joshua the Elderly and they were painting their feet in preparation for Summer Un-Fun.)

When I finish my cards, and lesson plans, and presentations, I'm going to do the "Eric Carle project" I've been dying to do for awhile. I think I may actually succeed in handmaking all of my xmas cards this year and they won't just be crappy handstamped ones either.

6/4

Ok, called in sick ('cause I _am_ sick, sick of these stupid cards) and am going to finish by the end of Mart's Class Nite practice so we can take our mommy out to dinner.

1:09 a.m.

It feels much later than it actually is. We went to Buca. I was careful not to overeat becaues I knew I'd have to stay up. the partyness of the place seems to have fizzled, now people go there to have a meal instead of a good time. The past two or three times I've eaten there we've bypassed the kitchen in favor of eating that much sooner. I'll never forget the second or so time I ate there, and there was this woman sitting at a table with her toddler, just the two of them, and between them they had something like a pizza, garlic bread w/mozzarella, two pastas, and some mashed potatoes. It was a lot. And she sat there and ate and ate and the kid ate and ate and they talked and had a good time or what looked like a good time together and I thought if I ever wind up a single mom I want to be as happy as her.

I think I have 15 more book cards.

6/6

I'm eating too much junk food. My major weakness of late is taco bell nachos. not the bell grande, but just the plain little white pocket of chips and little cup of cheese sauce. when I went yesterday after class, I ran into kalei and we were talking about school and I blurted out something kind of stupid: "Yeah, finals week is really stressful, that's why I'm always in here eating this crap!" I hope he wasn't offended, I mean, as an employee of TB/PH. It was cool talking to him actually, and I can't remember how it happened but for some reason I told him about the time I hit his car. The time I came up the driveway in Chelsea and I was so tired I thought "brake" but I pressed gas, and thunk, I hit his CRX. He said oh, it was a piece of shit anyway, and he kind of laughed.

Book cards: fini. I was really pleased with myself. But then I forgot to pack my text for class, and I made the mistake of joking out loud to Cary that I had chosen Sadako as my historical nonfiction because it was so short, and then I realized I had forgotten to put my name on the back of the book cards. Ms. was not happy with me. And I seemed to be the only one she would catch talking while she was talking, like the time I was pointing out to Cary this really gross lipstick blot mark in my copy of Sadako and she started laughing really hard, and did Ms. give Cary the look of death? No sir, she saved it for me. But YAAAY, those damned cards are all done (54!) even though I had to spend my break writing my name on all of them with a not-quite-functional jellyroll. Here's what had to go on every card: title, author/illustrator, publisher & copyright date, genre, approximate age, a detailed summary, a mini lesson plan detailing how you would use the book in the classroom, and a "professional" evaluation. Luckily I spent almost my entire childhood reading (that's why I don't know how to find anything on this island, I never looked outside the car window) and so I had quite a few books readily available, and then there were all those trips to HSL (resulting in a $20-something fine that still needs to be cleared up) for more good stuff, and at first I thought 50 books will be NO problem, I mean, they're picture books and intermediate chapter books for God's sake. The books weren't a problem, it was of course the cards that really sucked. I think I must have read and re-read over a hundred books in the past 10 weeks (and I'm not bragging, like I said they're picture books and any idiot could do it) but the cards! the CARDS! each card took about half an hour to 45 minutes ... because of my horrible attention span and because of the mini lesson-plan thing.

But that's behind me now, and now I need to do this paper on my tour of the academy of arts (which was due last week, but last week I was still making book cards) ... I'm kind of cheating and using the website bc no one said I couldn't, and anyway, I did take the tour like I was supposed to. And I haveto get this done because tomorrow is the 2nd-to-last class, and after class I have to go shopping for presents for various occasions including a grad gift for my cousin whose graduation I attended tonight. Graduations always make me emotional, this one more so because it was my alma mater and my cousin who I am not particularly close to, but I used to be, back when I was little and she was littler, and I felt happy for her for the first time in a long time, and really proud of her and I hope she finds success and happiness wherever she goes, hm, maybe i should write this in her graduation card instead of babbling it here. Anyway, the ceremony ended with all the graduates and alumni singing the alma mater and I do not normally sing, not even in church, but I sang the a.m. because I was amazed I still remembered it and also, because it's really really true, love is the greatest gift in life. I hope all those grape-colored graduates really believe that. I do.