5/16

i'm so pissed. at nothing, really. pissed at dissatisfaction. unsatisfaction? i am unsatisfied. i could have done that presentation, and at this very moment i would be finished, it would be shot, dead and buried. but i couldn't do it because it would have been a bad presentation, and how could i do that to maurice sendak? so i asked for another week. hey, miss, i know this will totally screw up everything but i have fallen in love with a 75-year-old artist and think we could all benefit from me taking another week to really get my shit together.

boy, she was grumpy when i asked. but i asked, and i received, and i'm relieved, but exhausted, so tired, and pissed, at nothing.

okay, here is one thing i am pissed at: nevermind, i forget.

i know i shouldn't buy any more books for awhile but i decided i would rather have the art of maurice sendak by selma g. lanes than eat or pay bills. so i will have it. once i renew my b&n and/or borders educators discount card it will be mine and i will rule the WORLD! then again if i order from amazon.com i cna get free super saver shipping and not even have to leave this chair. yes, things are looking up.

okay, here is the one thing i am pissed about: i left my plant at bella's house. she is moving out, actually by midnight tonight she and all her cats and things have to be moved out, and i was supposed to pick up the plant yesterday. it's a potted tree, a little leafy thing. about six feet. i liked it on the spot and was planning to ask if i could have it if it was not offered to me. fortunately it was offered to me so i didn't have to be tacky. UNfortunately i forgot to go by today and am in such a bad mood that i don't want to go anywhere and i hope she puts it out by the curb so i can pick it up tomorrow. i can't think what else she'd do with it anyway. i was planning to put it in the back yard, as my Coco memorial.

saw dr. scott a couple days ago when we dropped off bentley for his surgery. (nothing serious, just gettign neutered. yay!) he said he was sorry about Coco, and i thought now HERE is the perfect, most wonderful person to talk to. he can help me. but my mom was there, so i couldn't ask him. i think i will not go back to the other place, aloha, although dr. kaya is great, a wonderful vet. i took bentley there in the beginning because that was the closest participating clinic (free puppy pediatric) and he had really eased my mind that one time i took shumai to him. but the thing was, i never got dr kaya after that. i always got dr. chang even though i would specifically ask for kaya, and nobody would call or notify me that dr. kaya had suddenly decided to take the day off or whatever. i guess because dr. chang is the senior vet and so most people wouldn't mind the switch, but i didn't get a very good feeling the first, second or third time i took bentley there. now that the pediatric shots are through, i'm stayign with dr. scott, who is a natural choice because he was Coco's, TJ's, and Djali's, and beside of his ease with animals, he has a way with people that makes me really comfortable. also, he has rottweilers of his own. i suddenly feel like i already wrote an entry about everything i just said.

i thinks i will go order that book now.