3/17

Day 13. It's March 17. Out in the dark quiet tonight -- full moon, heavy warm air -- walking with B and Mart for just a little while. It was still. In the valley sometimes it's impossible to fathom what the world is sitting on.

I made tomato soup for dinner. I love the bouillion from DTE, it's made three soups so far and two of them have been good. This tomato concoction was OK, really tangy though. I did used a fair amount of canned stewed tomatoes, come to think of it. Oh well. Lycopene, we all need it. I've already decided how to repair what's left: add 15-bean mix, thicken with flour, pour over ravioli. From soup to sauce. Ooh!

3/18

Took yesterday off. I went to Hamilton library (where i was not trying to steal that journal, thank you very much) and then the state library downtown. It was so wonderful. I love the library, I love taking the day off from work. Even if I had to work through my day off, at least I wasn't at work, know what I mean?

I spent most of my time in the basement, which is kind of morgue-ish, in a nice way. I mean it's peaceful and usually empty (which means vacant tables and outlets for your laptop.) The staff is sort of unhelpful but I guess I'd be grumpy too if I never saw the light of day. Another minus: photocopies are 15 cents a page. Other than that it was great to just read and read. I actually went there to find education journals so I could finish (or more like get started) on that part of my 645 portfolio, but I got sidetracked by early childhood journals ... of all the things I would do differently if I could do UH all over again, the first would be to double major -- English and FAMR. I can't stress enough how great the FAMR program is (and I'm sure for elem teachers the FAMR degree is way more relevant than English. But I'd never give up English .. there was no turning back when my English lit professor read from Beowulf. I did love English, so I wouldn't give it up -- I'd just double up even if it would mean more work.) Yeah, I'd major in English and FAMR and then go into early childhood education. An ECE degree is still a possibility, anyway. I really want to teach preschool. Before I settle in elementary (which at this point is where I know I want to settle) I do want to teach preschool. I love Montessori and I think preschool is where it's most exciting. Now that we've absorbed the philosophy of Constructivism via a painful math methods/curriculum class, it seems there's no other way for kids to learn.

Day 14, it is. More tomato soup (no pasta, no point in making it a sauce.) It's nice with little bits of mozzarella cheese bobbing around in it. I also ate a lot of spinach for lunch bc I decided I haven't been getting enough iron. I like spinach (sauteed with garlic) even though it makes my teeth feel funny.

I'm excited. No, that's not quite the word. I'm elated. I'm exhilarated. I'm DONE! ... well, not completely done, but pretty much done. Done going to class anyway. Now I just have to turn stuff in (like the 10-pound portfolio, article reactions, etc.) It's still a lot of stuff to finish but I took some notes tonight and we're meeting on Tuesday (before we go out and drink till we can't pronounce portfolio anymore) to finish up. After we were done with data analysis lab tonight she announced she had a surprise for us. The surprise was that our syllabus was wrong and that there was no class next week, and our performance final was tonight. as in, that minute. Naturally we panicked.

But it turned out that she wanted us to do the Crisis of 9 lesson with just the people at our table, and then choose one more lesson to perform (with the same people.) We breezed through the Crisis of 9 and all decided to do operation lessons with the stamp game, and we were allowed to help each other out, and pretty soon we were just going through all the operations, adn then apparently the performance final was over and everyone was just putting together odds adn ends for the portfolio, taking last minute photos of the materials, planning to meet next week, and then course evals were handed out, she left, we did the evals, we went home. It was a really anticlimactic end, esp considering how much I was stressing out over the performance final (OK, not enough to get my ass to campus on the weekend to practice, but it was really nagging at the back of my mind!!). So I guess anticlimactic is a good thing. Now there's just the portfolio and journals, etc., because I'm guessing we all passed our performance final so yes I am exhilarated, elated, exhausted.

I'm taking three classes next term. Suicide? Possibly. But much as I love school, I have got to get the hell out.