I can't help but think that you have been over run lately with all these "awakenings." I'll tell my story briefly, and feel compelled to include a poem written back in July, a few months before I became aware of the term, indeed, it's only been since December that I've even considered ET's a part of this "waking up" process, a term I have nevertheless used often.

Started back in January, fell in love with a man I'd known for years, but suddenly he was different. I remember seeing him only as this incredible light, and when I consciously tried to visualize his image it wouldn't stick, it kept morphing into other images of him. But the light I could see. And somehow, seeing his light woke up parts of me that I had suppressed for the previous 7 years or so. Psychically things got very bizarre. Unfortunately, the romance didn't work out, he was too involved with someone else. I never told him about the tremendous effect he had on me, highly aware of the ridiculousness of it all. In any case, this experience led me to do some intense psychological repair work on myself, and to get in touch with my soul and my latent psychic powers. This process is ongoing, still, and it's like I'm on some kind of hyper-accelerated track, Spiritual Re-awareness for the Forgetful 101 or something. I feel as if I've just lived through a decade in the space of one year. It's just agonizing at times, dealing with one deeply held issue or mental construct that you think is reality and constantly re- evaluating it, dismantling completely if necessary. And once I finally figure something out, some deeply held truth about myself bubbles up to the surface, I'm only allowed a short period of rest before the next course starts, and again I'm forced to process process process. THere's just so much information, and I know that much of the work I'm doing is on a super- conscious level. Thank god, I think.

But this Wanderer thing. By November I thought I was finally getting things in some kind of groove, things were starting to fall into place, when a friend out of the blue, started talking about aliens. And I found myself talking about them to him, even though I had up to that point never been remotely interested in the concept of aliens. Well, remotely, but I never felt drawn to the concept with any kind of insistent strength. He lent me the book, Alien Agenda, which introduced me to certain ideas that shook me so hard I almost couldn't finish the book. I thought maybe I was just afraid that I had been abducted by grays, a thought that is somehow abhorrent to me, but the information on the gray's was easy to deal with. One thing led to another, and here I am, "Knowing" that I am not human--but then also knowing that I am very much human. Not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing. So basically, in the course of a month, my whole vision of the world has changed, only it's so incredible and far fetched that I have a difficult time actually believing in all this. I "know" but I can't believe. But I have surrendered to the call, whatever that might be. I've been told to be patient, to learn patience. Patience, perseverence and faith is my mantra. But really, this is all very hard to accept.

In any case, this leads me to the poem I wanted to share with you. For some reason I have the idea to post it on your wanderer's forum, though I can not predict what kind of reaction this particular action will instigate. Like I said, Faith. I wrote it well before I was dealing with things like multi- dimensionality and time travel. But it gives me comfort now, knowing that I "knew," back then, even if I didn't remember.

"Out There, Out There"

Out there,
Out there,
The light in me will always compare
what's around with what's inside.
Never do these visions collide.

I touch and sense
the hardwoods or the innocence.
Either one is half aware,
The other half is out of here.

Things I do,
Places I go,
Yet there's so much more...
I'm never confined to one space and time,
Fully wandering around,
Taking what's mine.

Through spirit realms and realities
That exist next to this fantasy,
Time travelling through all of me,
Never knowing what the next stop will be.

To find love among the stars
Is the goal of my soul,
It searches through bars
that elate the sleeping masses,
And charms in the eyes of
momentary lapses.
One second to see,
One second to be,
Brief moments of identity,
Then it's back for me,
Out there,
Out there.

At this point in time I feel the need to remain anonymous. If there are any really interested parties, anyone really compelled to communicate, of course I'm willing. I have more poems, and some of them really seem to communicate this alienation somehow, at least to me. They have provided me with great comfort during this year of massive transformation. And now so has your web page. I have more to tell, and am looking forward to the time when I can speak freely of this type of knowledge, as it is very confusing, and the idea of mentioning it among my peer group is daunting. I am confused, walking along that proverbial razor's edge between sanity and insanity. And wondering. Just constantly wondering.

Thank you for your web page.