I just finished reading your page and was overwhelmed. So many things seemed to 'click' for me. I felt a sense of recognition, and yet, I am sceptical. Could this be me? Why am I in such a state of denial? All my life I have had a sense of 'alienation' (good word for it) and all my life people around me have always joked to me "What planet are you from anyway?" I should clarify that the lighthearted joking didn't start until I was an adult, as a child I was just called 'freak' by the other children. I didn't understand why, and still don't.

I remember staring at the night sky and looking at a particular star and having a 'sense' that that was my 'home.' I used to cry myself to sleep and ask 'them' to come and take me back. That it was a mistake, I shouldn't be here. I always bugged my mother about being adopted. She assured me that she carried me in her womb and was present when I was born. For a while I thought she was lying but have since come to the conclusion that she was telling the truth. This is the first time that I have ever heard of someone else doing the same thing, everyone else just shakes their head and laughs at me and says "I'd expect something like that to come from you."

I've never felt 'special,' just different. In many ways my 'difference' has been both a blessing and a curse. On the positive side, I learned to 'be myself,' to be independent, to follow my intuition. On the negative side it has eroded my self-confidence as a human being. Being told over and over again that I am NOT like everyone else therefore my opinion and view on human affairs doesn't count. Because I don't feel connected to the human experience I am constantly reminded that my thoughts are invalid on what it is to be human. This used to upset me, feeling that I was all alone. But I've met other people that I can connect to and experience has taught me the All is One.

I don't know if this is related, but I find that psychology fascinates me terribly. Sociology mixed in there somewhere. I am fascinated by people. In the beginning we were all part of the One, then we took form and felt that we were 'individuals,' no longer part of the whole and we struggle through our lives trying to 'connect' again. But our connection was never severed, even here, we are still part of the One, just in a different form. Does that make any sense?

When I was in my teens I had a very profound dream. A woman, dressed in white was rearranging the stars and telling me "This is the secret to the Universe, this is the key..." I can't remember what she did with the stars, all I do remember is that I felt like, "Yeah, I understand, of course, this is so simple.' The problem was that I forgot the dream upon awakening and it wasn't until later in the day when I had a flashback glimpse of it from the night before. I couldn't remember what she had told me and I was so upset for days afterward. I had known and then forgotten. The only thing that kept me going was the idea that the knowledge is there, inside me somewhere and someday, somehow, it will be released and I will know again.

Yes, I have had visions and very strong dreams. I have also been told that I talk in my sleep sometimes and I had one person tell me that one night I was talking to them about multi dimensions and how to travel between them. They thought it was funny because as I was talking to them I was getting frustrated with their inability to understand. I don't recall the conversation or the dream.

I read your FAQ and have another question to ask. Do Wanderers appear in groups in families? I have a child who is now 4 and a half but since the age of 18 months he has been making remarks about star ships and aliens that are truly baffling to me. At 18 months he pointed up to the night sky and said "Night, stars, ships fly." Recently he asked me why we have night and day and I got a globe and was demonstrating how the sun lights up different parts of the world as it spins creating night and day. He interrupted my lesson and asked me "This is the planet Earth, what planets do the aliens come from?" I asked him "What aliens? What are you talking about? What do they look like?" He replied "You know, mom. You know which ones I am talking about." I found this very odd but have rationalized that perhaps he got it from television as it is not a subject we talk about normally around our home. hilander@lightspeed.bc.ca