Words are sometimes hard. A very, very limitted way of communication. I figured that one out a few years ago. Like much of my family, I have felt 'different' from, almost, everyone else. Even kindergarten was a rough time. I never quite understood why. Why people did things the way they did. A lot of times I felt there were more practical ways of going about the situation that perplexed me. Those feeelings and the infamous 'why', have never left me.

About 4 years ago, I was feeling lonely. The confusion I had been dealing with in my head was getting me quite down. I begun to wish. The power of wishing is not to be underestimated, or abused. I knew that, but I had a vision. This vision was of a female. It was a vision of love. A wish for comfort, honesty, love, companionship, and answers. I am yet to want again, as badly as I wanted that. Sometime later, in the Winter, my wish was answered. I was introduced to a beautiful girl. We clicked, and fell madly in love. She was part of my wish. We eagerly spent the Winter getting to know each other. Sometimes we didn't speak. We would touch, and the energy would rush. during mid-spring I had made a decision to leave for awhile. I still had some things I felt had to be done.

I left home and went to a Rainbow Gathering being held in the state (KY). While there, some incredible things happened. I was sitting by the lake one afternoon, when two friends approached me. They told me of a family. One I knew of, but had never heard of. They said that they knew they were to speak with me. They told me not to be scared, there's nothing to be scared of, and wait.

Two or three days later I met a girl visiting the site for a night. We clicked and begun to hang out. The night set in, and the two of us, getting away from drunk hippies, took a walk. We walked down a dirt forest road for a good half mile, and sat to chat. I explained to her the feelings I had, my girlfriend, and some of what my freinds had told me. She understood, and agreed.

As we talked we noticed a light in the woods. At about 75 yards that sure was a big fire. Thats what we were thinking anyway. As we watched, the "fire" got bigger. We could, after a minute, see a dome, white light on top, colored lights in the center, and a light at the bottom. Needless to say, we were in awe. The craft silently rose and stopped about 300 feet in the air. It sat for a second, and then with a silent, almost felt, rumble of energy, it glided over us. We confirmed each other's sanity, locked hands and looked up. We saw ships everywhere! About eight glittering stars came together in formation and flashed. She claimed to "hear them". I didn't, but wasn't too dis-believing at that moment. For the next few hours we watched ships fly and flash. It was extraordinary. She retired to bed, and I never saw her again.

I soon returned to Lexington and to my girlfriend. I told her what I had been told, and what I had experienced. I had to leave again. This time she came with me. Now here's a twist I forgot to mention. I was 18, she was 15 and my little runaway. We spent most of the next 6 mo. in Fayettville Ark. We learned things from amazing people. We experienced, and learned. She, for her first time, got to experience UFO activity with me. Our lives were complete. I would very much like to go into detail about our adventure, but it was a long road.

She eventaully got homesick and called home. Her parents came for us. We had worried our blood families to death. Her parents had relocated to Nashville, so that's where we went. After a few days, I was back in Lexington. Life and distance took its toll after 3 years and we split up. It broke my heart.

It is now a little over a year since. I am again lost. My dreams, my faith, my reality was shattered.

It is so very easy to fall from the steps you're taking. I have been told that more than once. I knew, now I know.

I have put my family, you brothers and sisters, back again, into the depths of my soul. My thoughts of "I know the truth" have been repressed. Again. Just like it was before the dreams, the wishes, the girlfriend. I feel confused again. Numb, but knowing. The light still resides inside me. I just want to check the wiring before flicking the switch this time. I love you all.

Stephen Rowan
111 Bash Ave.
Somerset Ky.
42502
donor@som-uky.campus.mci.net