Hi, my name is Kathy and I'd like to get your opinion on a few things (actually a lot of things!) I'll try to keep it brief, but coherent.

I have the profile of most wanderers: isolation, feelings of being different, lonely, homesick, fascinated by space, etc. I don't remember ever not feeling this way. I absolutely knew that I was different from anyone in my family. I could see it especially clearly when I looked in their eyes and then in mine. I saw beings I assumed were angels, but on reflection, I know many were not. I wanted more than anything to fly in a spaceship out among the stars -- still do! I was an only child in a normal, loving family and was never abused; in fact, just the opposite.

As I got older, I had a harder and harder time fitting in and was in a panic about what to do with my life. So, I opted to not face that by doing drugs (this was late 60's, early 70's) and getting married. I eventually stopped when I had children. In 1991, I returned to college determined to finish the degree in teaching I'd started long ago. (I was drawn more toward psychology, but many in my family discouraged me because it would take so long and because of my age --I was 40. I fell for it!!)

The last year of school (92-93) was a nightmare for me. I felt as if I was dying spiritually. I knew I should not be going down this path, but felt I couldn't quit. I graduated and was appalled that I totally hated teaching --well, not actually the teaching, but the idea of having to discipline and "police" a room full of unruly kids was something I couldn't do. As I suffered more and more, the paranormal phenomena I'd always had in my life was being snuffed out. Since that was normal for me, it caused me a great deal of pain.

After graduation, I was in a quandary. Here I was all prepared to teach and yet dreading it, knowing that a huge part of me would die if I did. I was really unhappy, but stubbornly persisted. I actually applied for a couple of jobs, all the while hoping I wouldn't be hired! I felt as if I had nowhere to turn.

Then on July 13, while sitting in my car at the intersection near my home, I had something like a life review and heard a voice telling me that I could go on if I chose. I thought about it and replied that I couldn't leave my children. All this took place just in the time it took the red light to turn green. I drove away thinking how unlike me it was to be thinking about death.

Two days later, I was hurrying through that same intersection and was broadsided by a truck. I was severely injured. I left my body and rose up above the intersection and watched the events unfolding below. I saw three beings and told them that this wasn't supposed to happen, that I'd chosen to stay. They said they knew that, but that this had to be done. They waved goodbye and I returned to my body.

In the period following the wreck, for about 2 weeks I was almost continually surrounded by angels, light beings and light itself. I learned a great deal living in that light. Upon returning home, I was told, "You have 6 months." At the end of that time, I started experincing huge waves of some sort of electrical type of energy. It was so intense, I was paralysed and could not speak during it. It always came in through my crown and with such force that it sort of washed me out of body so that my etheric body would end up in a heap on the floor at the foot of the bed. It felt like dying every single time it happened. It got so strong that I got very fearful. It was tremendously loud and I often saw strange looking beings. Once I woke to find a pale bluish, very thin being standing by my bed. I tried to scream, but my throat was paralysed, so I just sort of croaked. The funny thing is, it really startled the blue guy, too! It tried to communicate a sense of love and kindness to me, but I was still frightened. Finally it showed me a ball that was made entirely of tiny hexagons. It had little tubes coming out of it on all sides and they emitted light. It was lovely and seemed familiar to me. He asked if I wanted to keep it and gently laid it on my chest. He stayed a little longer, then "dissolved" from view. I've recently seen this being again.

I've also seen beings who said they were from Sirius. (This was before I knew anything about the fact that there were others who said they knew Sirians.)

I'm running on too long, so I'll get to the questions I have. I can't determine what's going on! My life has changed greatly in some ways, not in others. I do feel some relief knowing there are beings who love me, yet feel even lonelier as well. I am wondering what is involved in my life. Is it the ET experience, the NDE experience, or could it be spontaneous Kundalini awakening (which I've been researching the past few months and found to correlate with much of the physical phenomena I've been experiencing the past several years.)?

And what in God's name, is the purpose of all this? I read your book last year and most of the people in it seemed to know their purpose and be on their path. I don't, but feel as if I came here to do something. I'm very discouraged, because time keeps marching on and I feel driven to do something, but know not what! It's disheartening to say the least. How can I find out? Where can I turn to get some answers?

I know I've asked a lot of questions, but believe me I have a far more than this!! If you have any opinion or advice about any of this please email me when you get a chance. I'd appreciate any and all help!

Thanks,
Kathy