Dear Jody, After exploring your web-page for a couple weeks now and talking to Karen Hill I've finally gotten around to writing to you as I've wanted to. Your page is really cool and makes me feel very much at home if you know what I mean! :) I wanted to share my story with you, but I've got a lot I want to say but I doubt I'll be able to get it all in here.... It'll probably be too long anyways.

I guess I should start at the beginning of this life. I had never heard the term "wanderer" until I read it on your page, I am not familiar with the RA material, but it certainly seems to fit. Star-people was the name I knew from having read Brad Steiger's books on the subject.

All my life I've felt different, alien, typical of wanderers. A lot of wanderers say they feel like they must have been adopted but I really was. At three weeks old I was adopted by the family who I consider as my parents, and I have never found out who my birth parents were but it hasn't really mattered to me that much, just a curiosity. As a teenager though, feeling so out of place as I did, I used to daydream that my biological father must have really been an alien to have produced a child like me!

I remember as a small child my dad would take me outside in the evening sometimes and show me the stars. I remember watching a live Apollo lunar landing when I was 2 1/2 years old, it must have been one of the last ones, and I wondered why they didn't fall off the moon! :D I was always fascinated with the stars and moon and planets, and when I was 11 I started teaching myself astronomy. My parents bought me a small telescope for my 12th birthday and I spent many summer nights in the back yard during the following 6 years with a telescope, and a sleeping bag on a lawn chair.

Ah the longing, it was always there, wasn't it? Gazing towards the sky after the sun set, seeing that first pinpoint of light as the sky was going from indigo to grey...."Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, get this wish, I wish tonight...." Take me home, please, take me home.....And the stars blurred, as the tears welled up....

Why had they left me here? This planet seemed so cruel to me. I didn't seem to fit in anywhere. I had one good friend who went to Catholic school but I was in public schools and had a few friends there, but there were far more kids there who seemed to dislike me for reasons I didn't understand, and they tormented me to no end. I never did anything to them but somehow they could see I was different and took advantage of my naivete with a lot of emotional abuse. I was very angry and humiliated a lot of the time even up through high school. I felt very disempowered and depressed a lot of the time. I would use "stories" of outer space and extraterrestrials that my friend Katie and I made up and drew pictures of as a kind of escape. Drugs and suicide were never anything I considered because there was something inside of me that knew those kinds of escapes were not acceptable (I'd done those already in past-lives, I figured out later.) And besides, I was just too damn stubborn to let anyone get the best of me! No matter how much it hurt. And I have been hurt many times, even by those who are closest to me on a soul-level. But isn't love what we are all really searching for? Love in human relationships fascinated me, and I wanted to experience them all. I was searching for my soul-family and my star-family. Some of them are one in the same.

These stories I mentioned before that Katie and I escaped into were very significant. In my part, I had one character I particularly liked to draw. Her name was Alena. I drew her with long black hair, big dark blue eyes, and fair skin. She often wore a long blue dress. This was her human "disguise." She was really an ET in the story....But soon after "imagining" her, I began to notice she was in my dreams a lot (this started when I was about 14.) And she would take me to her spaceship which was a light-ship. There, she would teach me things that I couldn't usually remember in the morning, I was just left with this feeling of having been there learning a lot of stuff from her. And besides this, on nights I'd cry myself to sleep because I was so upset and lonely, somehow she made me feel better and gave me the strength to move ahead. Sometimes even in the daytime I would hear her tell me something telepathically. (BTW: I discovered my psychic abilities when I was 9, and exploring them fascinated me too.)

One day in 8th grade when I was very sad I was walking down the hall at school thinking really hard, "Why won't you come take me away from here?!!" And to my amazement I got a response. Alena said, "Because you have a mission here." For a split second like a lightning flash I remembered something, and I thought, "Oh yeah!" But then it was gone, and I was left wondering, well, what is it?

Around that time when I was 14 was when I first found Brad Steiger's book, "The Star People." I finally found something that let me know that I wasn't so alone! At least then I finally knew why I felt so alien, but still I felt lonely because I didn't know anyone else like me. I didn't know how to find them yet. And in his book, Steiger says the message all the star people seem to get was, "Now is the time!"

Well then, why did I always get, "Wait, wait...."? Patience was not my greatest attribute. I still felt very despairing at times, and I would look out at one of my favorite stars, Sirius, from my bedroom window on crisp winter nights, and pray, "Please just let me know you're there," and then I would almost always see a small meteor streak across my field of vision there, a gentle assurance..... I felt a great connection to Sirius, Vega, the Pleiades, the Andromeda Galaxy, Orion, and some other stars and constellations. Alena told me in a dream one time she belonged to what sounded to me like the "Lidian Council." I felt it was related to Sirius. I would see myself being from a place I called the Green Planet. I wasn't sure where it was but it had a green sky, two moons, great rusty colored mountains and was quite desert-like.

I always tried to see the stars every night that I could. My bed was positioned under the window so I could lift the curtain even while lying down and see a small triangle of the sky between the window sill and the eaves of the roof of the house. In that small patch of sky I could see between one and four stars usually, but I always hoped to see something more.... One night, I did. It was January of 1986, on a still and clear frozen night with a near-full moon. I was looking out at the sky from my bed when I saw a bright orange light enter my little triangle of view. It moved very strangely, from side to side, and around in little circles. I bolted out of bed and ran outside to see what it was. There wasn't just one bright orange light, but three identical ones, all moving independently of each other, silently, making these zig-zagging motions but generally heading south. My parents heard me go outside and came running after. About 15 minutes later they one by one flickered out afeter reaching a particular spot in the sky. Well, my parents didn't know what those lights were and neither did I. My telepathic "calling" saying, "Here I am, I see you," didn't seem to get me any respose, so I don't think there was anyone on them, if they were ET craft. Knowing astronomy as I did, I knew these were no ordinary or conventional aircraft, but I realize they could have been something military seeing as how we had 4 Air Force bases within 50 miles of where we lived. When my mom called the bases the next morning though they denied having sent anything up that night. We didn't report our sightings though, and there was nothing in the newspaper about them, nothing on TV, which led me to suspect the authorities didn't want the news about whatever we saw to get out at all, because they always reported false sightings of UFO's with explanations, and I can't believe in a county of over 1 million that we lived in that we would have been the only people to have seen the orange lights. One thing I noticed about myself though right then, was that I wasn't feeling like, "Please come take me away from here!" anymore. I was finally reaching some kind of acceptance of my being here, to a certain degree anyway.

One dream I remember vividly where Alena took me to her ship was one where she took me to look out a "window" or some kind of projection device, and we watched the Earth explode! Then she took me to a room where we had a globe and she took the Earth apart and was having me identify the different strata and such, it was some kind of quiz for me, but it's hard to remember...anyways, she wasn't satisfied with my progress there somehow. It was like she was telling me to learn more and come back later. A coulple years later or so I remember waking up from a dream where Alena was leaving, and I was literally crying--it woke me up. I thought she had left me. Abandoned again, on this terrible planet, that somehow was still beautiful and precious to me.

That's when I would say I began my "sleep." I guess I needed it in order to get me to where I needed to go, to prepare for this mission she said I had. I covered up my old hurts, and tried to just do the best I could in school and have some fun. Still I searched a spiritual quest but I wasn't able to find much until after college. College led me into the science field where I became very interested in the environment. I majored in chemistry, got my degree, and got the job I had really wanted. I work for an agency that makes the strictest and most progressive air pollution control laws in the world, and we test and research air pollution in the area I am in.

In the meantime though, I found the Michael Teachings, based on some books I'd read in college, of a channeled being called Michael (Michael is related to Seth, the more famous entity that Jane Roberts channeled) through a very compassionate man who taught a channeling class. It was some strange series of coincidences that led me to his class, but needless to say it was no accident--I had just finally given up trying to make things happen in my life. Unfortunately I still hadn't figured out at the time that giving up and letting go didn't have to be so hard, to let the things you really need come into your life. This was fall of 1994, I was 25 and it was a time of great awakening for me. I also found WWW for the first time around then. Then I found a wealth of resources on the internet to help me find my ET connections--web-sites, a mailing list, and especially, the fellow star people I'd been searching for for so long! The Michael channeling class led me to begin a spiritual healing, and it led me back to Alena.... For so long I'd thought she was gone, but in the guided meditations we did I would see her there, and she told me she had never left me, that I had been the one who had gone away. But it was OK, we had a wonderful reunion, and since then, I can feel her with me and listen to her guidance once again. She still wouldn't tell me what my mission was though.

Once under hypnosis, the hypnotist asked me what my mission was. What I got was, "To save the Earth."....(My mind was still denying this!) "That's a pretty big task isn't it?" the hypnotist asked. "Yes," I said, feeling as if I were going to cry. I could see myself in a bubble, out in space, looking down at the Earth like a precious jewel glowing with blue and green and shades of brown....Blindingly white ice caps, and clouds floating over the land and sea....We were here to save the Earth?? But I was alone. Not really alone, but cut off somehow, before I had come to Earth for this life....Alena had prepared me and others for this, working with other groups too, the star people, the wanderers.... I had had so many lives on Earth already to get me prepared, to get me to understand what it is to be human, and yet, I still didn't feel it was my home, but I loved it nevertheless. Was I ready for this?

In a past-life regression I remembered being a Sirian, and I recalled how I was asked to come to Earth. It was a very long time ago, as far as looking at other lives go--although I understand a lot now about how we are really multidimensional beings and time is not really how we perceive it. Nevertheless, I saw how honored I felt to be asked to be a before I had come to Earth for this life... Alena had prepared me and others for this, working with other groups too, the star people, the wanderers.... I had had so many lives on Earth already to get me prepared, to get me to understand what it is to be human, and yet, I still didn't feel it was my home, but I loved it nevertheless. Was I ready for this? Alena had prepared me and others for this, working with other groups too, the star people, the wanderers.... I had had so many lives on Earth already to get me prepared, to get me to understand what it is to be human, and yet, I still didn't feel it was my home, but I loved it nevertheless. Was I ready for this?

Other Sirians decided not to get so involved in the manipulation and helped in the development of the cetacean species, which they had to become too, but with not so heavy consequences. They don't have the power to destroy the very world which gives them life. Humans do--and have come very close to succeeding. I feel a great responsibility to this Earth and what has happened to it. The Earth is a living being and like all living things cannot live completely alone--The spirit of the Earth has called out for help and we have answered. We have been awakening to be here for her and help however we can. Alone we feel helpless but together we are strong and we will succeed in helping through this transition however it will occur. I am not afraid anymore. I still have much to learn but I am open more to it, and I will do my best to fulfill the mission, along with my companions around the world who I connect to on a psychic level, and all the beings who are here to assist us. Whatever my small part is, I know it will be worthwhile. I just have to be patient and open, and heal my life so I can be of assistance to others and the Earth. Living in the moment is what allows the mission to unfold!

Jody if you'd like to share my story on your site (even shortened it's OK, I know it's long!) you can put my name and e-mail address, as I still hope to talk to others like you and Karen who I wrote to after seeing her story on your site and the symbols that she's gotten--I too have seen this diamond she mentioned and wrote my story about that on my own home page....It's in my "art gallery" along with many things I painted or wrote that I hope you'd like to see. I don't have as much time for e-mail as I used to now that my husband and I have a baby but I still hope I can talk to you sometime by e-mail or IRC! Thanks for making your ET Phone Home page--it's great! BTW: my baby, Evan, is one vof us too, I know because when I was pregnant with him Alena was inside of me preparing him for the first six months of my pregnacy, telling me to eat certain things and stuff. Well, this is another story in itself! :) Good night for now, blessings, live long and prosper, and all that kind of stuff! :)

In Love and Light,