I know the truth comes only from myself, but I would like to hear your short opinion on my story. I have some books on order to assist me in searching this out.

You may post my piece on your site if you like.

I have read the ET symptoms on your site, and some others - and find identification with nearly every symptom listed.

I was born to a most dysfunctional family and recall few to no memories from my very earliest years of life (only a few moments during which I was touched with a sense of happiness) - except that I was painfully lonely, saddened and felt without LOVE. As a tiny child, I prayed to a God I only sensed existed that I be given "understanding." I always felt very awkward in the world and sensed the negative, judgmental nature of others - Ouch! All of my life, I longed for peace, love and harmony in the world, as I felt awfully alone and unloved in what I perceived as a discordant world. I had an inherent faith and belief in something so much greater - a vision of a world where love and harmony was the law (I called myself dreamy and ideal...).

I grew up in the inner city of a large metropolitan area and struggled daily against the negative energies I was confronted with, always challenging me. I was born with an ultra strong conscience that always left me terribly regretful whenever my ways were not "right(eous)." Whenever I got into a fight with someone and found myself in a position to have the upper hand, I was "stunned still" and immediately made to feel how very, very wrong it would be to hurt another person by taking out aggressions on them - it was as if it was okay to defend myself, but nothing more was to proceed out of me.

Between the ages of 14 and 16 years old, I began experiencing a deeper sense of identification with the world, a sense of oneness with nature and the elements - immersed in this feeling I found my first relief from the pain of my young life. I soon had a perception that I was (somehow?) neurologically different than other children - this happening when I began feeling small influxes of energy in my brain and up the back of my neck, just beneath the skull. I had recurring (dreams?) of being lifted up into the universe, these followed incredible flying dreams. I had an experience where I felt as though my soul was disconnecting from my body, as though my consciousness was just behind or just beyond my body - I felt stuck there and was scared by it. I went through a period where I felt deep, deep remorse for all I felt I had done wrong since being born. I began readings into religions, metaphysics and psychocybernetics and found that deep meditation came very easily to me.

I became a born-again Christian (though I do not fit this description today) ready to wield my sword and conquer all the iniquities of the world. Once when "preaching" I felt an incredible energy come over my being and spontaneously channeled an entity. I began seeing auras and perceiving others in a much deeper sense. I became aware of tiny specks of light (that I have always called star shines) that appeared in my peripheral vision. After taking notice of these, I began searching the space around me to see what else might be present there and found what I know today to be raw energy - didn't make anything of it back then.

My birth names translate as being of Christ, of Mary and "I Hear and Assist" I forever strongly identified with the name as having been chosen to help remind me of a purpose as I traveled a difficult path in life. Anyhow, I became frightened by all of these experiences and turned them off. I went on to a life in the Army where I continue today. A few months ago, some 18 - 20 years later after this initial awakening, I found myself visited by more phenomenon. For a few days I had been sensing a nagging fluttering sensation in my ear that was accompanied by an energy which ran up the side of my neck and skull. I then became acutely sensitive to sound, literally all sound, any sound, however faint - everything struck deep chords in the center of my being. I had always had exceptional hearing, but it seemed to suddenly "magnify." On this same date, I was visited by a series (on and off for several hours) of what I can only describe as split second "strokes" of lightning in my mind. This was not a meditational experience - it happened as I went about my regular evening routine. With the sensitivity level of my hearing increased, I began perceiving a humming sound that churned in a most bothersome way in my ear, begging me to "open up."

Several days later, I finally "surrendered" to this sound/energy(?) which entered and washed over my entire being in an incredible way - mostly, it felt, my mind. It left me feeling transformed. And my chakras have opened. I feel as though I am experiencing the blending of two levels of perception - one so much more evolved than little ole human me, and the human me that is battling the ego-self of this world. And so, here I am, working to shed years worth of accumulated "trash" and to integrate the real me.

Lots of Love,

Kristi kparrotte@kc.rr.com