Exploration

Exploration 6
Love's Bittersweet

We may avoid thinking back on what was painful in our lives, but clinical experience and recent research have shown that thinking, talking, and writing about painful experience can have a positive effect on physical and mental health. Researcher James Pennebaker found that persons who were directed to write about traumas showed significantly improved immune systems and made significantly fewer doctor visits than those directed to write about trivial events. Pennebaker hypothesized that inhibiting thoughts and feelings concerning unhappy events is hard work, chronically taxing the autonomic nervous system with unfortunate effects on the body. Disinhibition permits the nervous system to relax.¹⁴

Every time that we look back on an event, we may see it differently. As we grow, we have an opportunity to grow stronger and also to grow in perspective and wisdom. So each time we look back, we can do so with older, wiser eyes. In this exploration, we will have a chance to make use of our wiser eyes.

Our relationships with the significant others in our lives have their ups and downs. We have had good times and bad times, and we may hesitate to look back and recall the joy if with it comes pain or sorrow or regret. With our older, wiser eyes, we can reminisce creatively about the past, gathering new perspective, accommodating what was bitter, celebrating what was sweet, and learning from both. Here are two bittersweet reminiscences of mine.

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