Exploration

Exploration 5
An Unsent Letter

A person very central in your life--a very significant significant other--may be or might have been the one most difficult for you to communicate with. Many things may have been left unsaid between the two of you. Perhaps you never could tell this person what you wanted to say, or you tried but it never got across. Perhaps there are things you wanted to hear from this person, but the words were never offered.

The person with whom your communication failed may now be dead or gone out of your life. Still, as the protagonist says in the play I Never Sang For My Father, "Death ends a life but it does not end a relationship."³⁹ There may be feelings still waiting to be expressed or words still waiting to be conveyed. There may be anger that needs to be defused and forgiveness that needs to be offered.

"Unsent letters" are letters written with no intent of sending them. Such letters help us express, record, and examine our feelings. Catharsis and a new or deepened insight may result. And this can help us learn to manage difficult situations better in the future.

To complete the first part of this exploration, write an unsent letter to some significant person in your life (present or absent, living or dead) with whom your relationship isn't or wasn't as you would want it--a relationship in which important things are or were left unsaid or unheard or important things are or were left undone. In this letter, set forth everything you would like to say. Below is a suggested beginning for your letter, but begin and proceed in any way you wish. When you have finished your letter -- but not before -- read and complete the remaining instructions.

Dear_________________:

This is what it (is, was) like for me (having, having had) a _______________ (daughter, son, mother, father, etc.) like you . . .

Continue >>