Professor Baranzo Biblios, Head Librarian, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,
with Hedwig and Pigwidgeon, at the release party of Order of the Phoenix, 
Honolulu, 21 June 2003  00:23.

Biography: Baranzo Yehuda "Gabby" Sprachzanim ZuZu Biblios, born Safed, Israel, 30 October 1955, to a mixed marriage of Yiddish/Swedish witch (Hogwarts graduate - Hufflepuff) and Irish Muggle/Squib (graduate of the School of Hard Knocks, Dublin). Eccentric Muggle Father had very Squib-like tendencies, as he was a brother of Arthur (Clown Prince of the Cosmos), brother of Endora, and Uncle of Samantha.

Baranzo showed signs of advanced linguistic ability in kindergarten as he arbitrated school-yard fights in 8 languages and 5 regional dialects. When he wasn't playing unusual musical instruments for his cat, he could be found translating Aramaic texts into Swahili under his blankets with a flashlight to avoid having to watch Muggle TV-shows like My Three Sons and Leave it to Beaver with his brother. A very loquacious individual, Baranzo was never taken to Blarney castle during his visits to Ireland, as it was well-understood he had "the gift." His first memorable magical act was talking the leg off a chair.

Baranzo was accepted at Hogwarts School of Wizardry in 1967. Initially sorted into Ravenclaw, he later was one of only 10 individuals in the entire history of Hogwarts to be re-sorted into Slytherin, where he lasted one year, before an unprecented third re-sort back to Ravenclaw (only three students in the entire history of the school have endured three re-sorts, and lived to tell the tale - the others, along with dates of graduation and place of birth, are: Bodrian McPhooneiew (1425, Merghagh, Scotland); Arachne Webweaver, Earl's Court, London (1798); and Wilhelmina Hufflepuff (Highcliffe, New Forest 1921, grand-niece of Helga Hufflepuff, 10 times removed). Wizard scholars are still baffled by this extremely rare behavior of the Sorting Hat. After much study, discussion, and drinking of grog, a feeble attempt was made to retire the Hat, but was met with great resistance by the majority of Hogwarts faculty, who accepted the fact that the Sorting Hat will do what the Sorting Hat will do...

Prof. Biblios graduated with distinction from Hogwarts and continued on to Muggle universities in Washington, DC, and Berkeley, California to 1) appease his curiosity about his Celtic Muggle half, and 2) to quench the desire of his father to learn a decent trade. He returned to Hogwarts as associate librarian under Prof. Edirastmus Pookei, editor of several classic grimoires of magic, and noted bibliographer of the Library at Alexandria. All was well until...she was hired.

Let it be known, here and now, that Prof. Biblios had no part in the hiring of Madame Pince, a shrewish, slatternly prima-donna, who insisted on marching around the library in her too-tight bun, terminally-ugly sensible shoes and an unflattering couture of midi-skirts, shushing the very young witches and wizards who need our attention and assistance, especially since You-Know-Who is back. Madame Pince, with no words minced, is a major pain in the you-know-where, and is a manifestation of a truly bad stereotype. The reason Madame Pince got the job in the first place is because she's the favorite niece of Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic. Yes, her position at Hogwarts was arranged by one of the oldest deals on earth - nepotism!

Professor Biblios left Hogwarts three years later to live in Honolulu, Hawaii. He now lives a relatively quiet life as an associate professor in a local community college library. He is known to host various witches, wizards, squibs and Muggles traveling to, or passing through, the Hawaiian archipelago. He has also been known to write ritual, play the accordion, kalimba, Hang, and birimbao (yes, he's still into weird instruments!) at Fire Tribe Gatherings on O'ahu, where he currently serves as the Registrar. He will play for any cat who will listen to him.

Professor Biblios is currently a resident e-scholar on the Harry Potter Lexicon.